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The Struggle is Real…
Feb. 21st, 2023 10:15 amTuesday February 21, 2023 9:15am
I feel like I sound like a broken record; but its been stressful around here the last week or so and I am really struggling to maintain my composure and hold my tongue with my mom. She is SO negative and always sees the things that people are doing “wrong” in her eyes and doesn’t know how to keep her judgements and comments to herself!
I know that I have said it before; but I am not my moms favorite child. My mom has always favored my sister…and my sister’s only child, Mitchell, who is deceased. She does not favor any of my children or my grandchildren with maybe the exception of Avaya). My mom has never spent a lot of time with any of my kids or my grandkids. I think the most time that she has spent with any of them is since shes been here. Other than that, its only been on holidays or at birthday parties. She has never gone out of her way to get to know any of “MY” family.
Since coming to live here, it has become painfully obvious that my mom knows almost nothing about any of “MY” family! Nothing but negative things, I should say. Anything that she ever says about anyone of my kids or grandkids is negative. And that is especially true about Paige! he is constantly nagging about Paige; what she is or isn’t doing, what she should or shouldn’t be doing, how she is doing things…it drives me crazy!!
Paige has told me many times that she doesn’t think that Gramma likes her. I try to assure her that my mom loves her, but if I’m being perfectly honest, I dont know that to be true. I know that she doesn’t approve of the fact that Paige s gay and has a girlfriend. I know that she doesn’t approve that Paige has friends who are gay and transgender. And until very recently, she made her feelings about the LGBTQ lifestyle very clear and heard.
Three nights ago my mom started in on me about Paige and college. Yes!! Paige wants to go to college!! NO!! She hasn’t enrolled in classes yet!! Apparently shes been talking to my sister, yet again, about Paige and college. My sister told my mom that Spring classes have already started, so Paige wont be doing Spring classes. Ive asked my mom many times NOT to TALK to my sister about anything that has to do with Paige or I…………but she doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut and tells my sister everything! Fuck!
I had had enough, and told my mom that all she ever does is spew negative about “MY” family. Of course she denied that, saying she didnt say just negative things about “MY” family. I pointed it a few things that she has said in the recent few days and she just looked at me like I was stupid. I told her that when ever I say anything negative about my sister, she gets mad, something to the point of huffing off or yelling at me. But she feels free to say all kinds of negative things about Paige and I’m just supposed to listen and take it. I told her I was done taking it!!
Mom asked me if I felt saying something about school was negative and I said no, but its always something with you. i told her that Paige has terrible anxiety about going to school and that wile she really wants to enroll, she’s struggling right now. I told her that there are things that she had no idea about Paige and that I would appreciate if shed keep all of nasty negative comments/thoughts/feelings to herself from now on.
The following day, she was cleaning out the dishwasher and made the comment that it was Paige’s job to clean out the dishwasher and how did she (my mom) get roped into doing it. I told her that I didnt ask her to clean out the dishwasher and she replied that Paige always waits til midnight to clean it out. I laughed and told my mom that Paige and I have a routine and way of doing things. That I like doing the dishes just before I go to bed. She said that left dish’s in the sink al day to which I replied “this is my house and thats how I do things. Stop trying to change things into the way you do things in your house”. Well, she hasn’t cleaned the dishwasher out since, lmao
Unfortunately my mom hasn’t gotten any good news on getting a place of her own. My owner of the mobile community that her trailer is in no longer has a license to sell homes, so he cant help to finance her “in house” and he wont sell anything on land contract. And since rent has gone up everywhere, its going to cost more to live. She refuses to push my sister into selling the trailer that the own jointly saying that Michele has no money. Well guess what Mom, neither do you!!!! And shes the one that put you in this position in the first place!!
She was finally able to get ahold of the management over in the subsidized housing apartments and she is like #43 in line to get an open apartment. She’s been trying to get in touch with the MSHDA housing people about her HUD/Section 8 application, but there’s no getting a hold of them. I want to say to her that if she had started looking for help and a place to live sooner, she might have something by now…but I am hoping that she realizes that herself.
Like I said, I feel like a damn broken record…but the need to vent is super high right now!! I have come to realize that my mom is taking advantage of me and using the fact that I’m her daughter and a giving person to her advantage. Now that I can see how much of a negative impact she is having on me and Paige, I am just struggling to be nice. I cant feel an explosion brewing and I really dont want that to happen. I gave her 3 months, so she has til the end of April to find herself a place to live, or she’ll have to go back to the trailer she and my sister own together.
This is Life…as My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
I feel like I sound like a broken record; but its been stressful around here the last week or so and I am really struggling to maintain my composure and hold my tongue with my mom. She is SO negative and always sees the things that people are doing “wrong” in her eyes and doesn’t know how to keep her judgements and comments to herself!
I know that I have said it before; but I am not my moms favorite child. My mom has always favored my sister…and my sister’s only child, Mitchell, who is deceased. She does not favor any of my children or my grandchildren with maybe the exception of Avaya). My mom has never spent a lot of time with any of my kids or my grandkids. I think the most time that she has spent with any of them is since shes been here. Other than that, its only been on holidays or at birthday parties. She has never gone out of her way to get to know any of “MY” family.
Since coming to live here, it has become painfully obvious that my mom knows almost nothing about any of “MY” family! Nothing but negative things, I should say. Anything that she ever says about anyone of my kids or grandkids is negative. And that is especially true about Paige! he is constantly nagging about Paige; what she is or isn’t doing, what she should or shouldn’t be doing, how she is doing things…it drives me crazy!!
Paige has told me many times that she doesn’t think that Gramma likes her. I try to assure her that my mom loves her, but if I’m being perfectly honest, I dont know that to be true. I know that she doesn’t approve of the fact that Paige s gay and has a girlfriend. I know that she doesn’t approve that Paige has friends who are gay and transgender. And until very recently, she made her feelings about the LGBTQ lifestyle very clear and heard.
Three nights ago my mom started in on me about Paige and college. Yes!! Paige wants to go to college!! NO!! She hasn’t enrolled in classes yet!! Apparently shes been talking to my sister, yet again, about Paige and college. My sister told my mom that Spring classes have already started, so Paige wont be doing Spring classes. Ive asked my mom many times NOT to TALK to my sister about anything that has to do with Paige or I…………but she doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut and tells my sister everything! Fuck!
I had had enough, and told my mom that all she ever does is spew negative about “MY” family. Of course she denied that, saying she didnt say just negative things about “MY” family. I pointed it a few things that she has said in the recent few days and she just looked at me like I was stupid. I told her that when ever I say anything negative about my sister, she gets mad, something to the point of huffing off or yelling at me. But she feels free to say all kinds of negative things about Paige and I’m just supposed to listen and take it. I told her I was done taking it!!
Mom asked me if I felt saying something about school was negative and I said no, but its always something with you. i told her that Paige has terrible anxiety about going to school and that wile she really wants to enroll, she’s struggling right now. I told her that there are things that she had no idea about Paige and that I would appreciate if shed keep all of nasty negative comments/thoughts/feelings to herself from now on.
The following day, she was cleaning out the dishwasher and made the comment that it was Paige’s job to clean out the dishwasher and how did she (my mom) get roped into doing it. I told her that I didnt ask her to clean out the dishwasher and she replied that Paige always waits til midnight to clean it out. I laughed and told my mom that Paige and I have a routine and way of doing things. That I like doing the dishes just before I go to bed. She said that left dish’s in the sink al day to which I replied “this is my house and thats how I do things. Stop trying to change things into the way you do things in your house”. Well, she hasn’t cleaned the dishwasher out since, lmao
Unfortunately my mom hasn’t gotten any good news on getting a place of her own. My owner of the mobile community that her trailer is in no longer has a license to sell homes, so he cant help to finance her “in house” and he wont sell anything on land contract. And since rent has gone up everywhere, its going to cost more to live. She refuses to push my sister into selling the trailer that the own jointly saying that Michele has no money. Well guess what Mom, neither do you!!!! And shes the one that put you in this position in the first place!!
She was finally able to get ahold of the management over in the subsidized housing apartments and she is like #43 in line to get an open apartment. She’s been trying to get in touch with the MSHDA housing people about her HUD/Section 8 application, but there’s no getting a hold of them. I want to say to her that if she had started looking for help and a place to live sooner, she might have something by now…but I am hoping that she realizes that herself.
Like I said, I feel like a damn broken record…but the need to vent is super high right now!! I have come to realize that my mom is taking advantage of me and using the fact that I’m her daughter and a giving person to her advantage. Now that I can see how much of a negative impact she is having on me and Paige, I am just struggling to be nice. I cant feel an explosion brewing and I really dont want that to happen. I gave her 3 months, so she has til the end of April to find herself a place to live, or she’ll have to go back to the trailer she and my sister own together.
This is Life…as My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
