thoughts_wander | Recent Entries

Sunday December 3, 2023 2:59pm

HELLO……
GoshI feel like Ive been MIA for such a long time. A lot has happened since my last entry. I’ll do my best to “nutshell” this entry; no need to write a novel, lol

OCTOBER

October was cold this year! Made me think that winter had come early and was going to be harsh this year. I’m happy to say it was just a bit of Mother Nature’s humor.

-U of M wolverines won the Paul Bunion trophy and The Little Brown Jug in October! GO BLUE!!
-My mm had cataract surgery on both of her eyes. She no longer requires glasses to see distance and only needs “cheaters” for reading.
-Paige left for Wisconsin the first week of October and came home the day before Halloween. Sh went for Syd’s birthday and she anime thing.
-Mid month we found kittens under my neighbors shed. We hadn’t seen the mama cat, so we assumed that she had either been trapped or died. So, we set out traps and were able to trap 3 of them at one time. Once we had the 3, we realized that there was a 4th kitten when the mama came looking for her babies and it was with her. We tried to trap the mama and kitten, but she had apparently moved the last kitten someplace else. I took the 3 that we had trapped to a local rescue that I work with. They will be vetted and adopted out when the time is right, to good and loving homes.
-On 10/18/2023 I had heart surgery (hearth catheter). They had extended o place 2 stents in the artery that was blocked, but due to the curves where the blockages were, they were able to place the stents. Instead, they used angioplasty. I spent the night in the hospital due for low blood pressure, and then was sent home on Plavix (blood thinner).
-Halloween was uneventful; I had all of 5 trick or treaters and they got large hands full of candy from me!!

NOVEMBER

November was warmer than October, which was so nice! I don't think that we got any snow in November this year, which was surprising. We lost an hour when day lights saving time was lifted. I wish they would just leave our damn clocks alone!!

-Paige went to New York and Connecticut to spend a week with her friend Alyssa and “V”. they went shopping in NYC and just had a great time.
-We celebrated Maizie Jane’s 3rd birthday November 7th. Hard to believe shes 3 yrs old.
-I saw my knee Doc and he gave me a referral for PT. He said that my knees are just getting worse and PT will help build up the muscles around my knees.
-My mom took possession of her apartment! There was ALOT of drama that surrounded that and I’ll write about it later
-On Saturday November 18th most of my family got together to celebrate Thanksgiving at Dustin and Miranda’s house. It was nice and I enjoyed myself a great deal, despite the fact that my ex’s with was there. I have no idea why they invited them (He didnt come, he was hunting), but whatever.
-Thanksgiving was nice and peaceful this year; Brandon, Elz and family did not go to our family Thanksgiving due to the riff that Saima created with Avaya and Emma back in April, so…I made dinner and invited them, plus Elz’s folks. We had a nice little dinner.

-U of M beat Ohio State 30-24!!
-I got my Christmas tree up, but not decorated.
-November 26th I had a heart Attack…

More to come in the next entry…

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa Marie~

Current Mood: cold
Current Location: My recliner
Current Music: Lions Football

Sunday September 10, 2023 2:12pm

I’m tired!

Life has been rough for a while now; my mom living here, my health, finances…just everything! And I have just had enough.

My Mom Living Here…
I just had an interesting talk with my mom, as I was starting to write this entry. She wanted to know about my heart (I’ll write about that below) and we talked briefly about that. And then she told me that shes gone back on her anti-depressants, and that led into talking about her and my sister and the mobile home that they own together.

I was careful with my words this time, and with my tone; which helped a lot! My mom seemed to be very receptive to what I had to say this time. Not that I haven’t said these things before, but this time she listened without getting upset and in the end, actually said they it was a good idea and then she thanked me for the talk. I was shocked!!

I reminded my mom that before she bought that mobile home with my sister, she did own hr own mobile home. That she had sold her place to buy the mobile with my sister. That my sister had said that she would only be living there a short time, and then would be moving in with her (then) boyfriend. That fell through when she found out that he was living a double life and was married with children.

I told my mom that I have talked to my counselor, at length, about the situation between my mom and sister, that they were the biggest reason I sought out counseling (My mom didn't seem surprised at all). I told her that my counselor has suggested that they sell that mobile home, split the proceeds and each buy their own place. And if my sister refuses to sell, then my mom should move back into the home with my sister, making my sister responsible for her own actions.

My mom says that my sister will not want my mom to move back in with her, so selling will be the only option. I told my mom that she needs to tell my sister that she, (my mom), has been stagnant for nearly 2 years, waiting for my sister to get herself figured out and that its time for her (my mom) to get on with her life again. That my mom is essentially homeless and that she needs her own stability again!

My mom seemed to “cheer up” after our conversation and thanked me for having that conversation with her. She said that she heard what I said and was very receptive to my words. I just hope that she meant wat she said an follows through sooner than later!

My Health…

For the past year I have been in the process of getting Gastric By-Pass Surgery to help with weight loss. My insurance requires that I see a dietitian for a year before they will approve the weight loss surgery. So, I did that. My gastric surgeon, Doc Jonkers, required that I get releases from both my primary, Doc Paulson and my cardiologist, Doc Hennig.

I saw Doc Hennig in August and he ordered a Echo and EKG in his office, which he said came back good. But then he ordered a PET Scan of my heart to double check, which I had Friday morning in Ann Arbor. Doc Hennig called me before I got home from that test, to tell me that it showed that I have 2 moderate blockages in 2 different arteries that needed stents. We knew that I Had 2 arteries that were mildly blocked when I had OHS 2 years ago, that would eventually need to be opened. That time has come now. So I have to have a heart catheter done, to have the stents placed where the blockages are located. Once that is done, Doc Hennig will approve me for the gastric by-pass surgery! I’m not sure how long all of this is going to take, but it doesn’t matter because I want the surgery. Doc Paulson has already given the okay to have the surgery done. He said that my blood sugar and everything else is A-Okay!!

My Finances…
I am in the process of filing for Disability/Social Security benefits. I hired an attorney back in July to get the process started and I am now waiting for an examiner to get in touch with me to start the next portion. I let my attorney know that I am having another heart surgery, and he said that will definitely help my case.

Right now I am living on what’s left of my savings because I am not working. And it sucks being this broke all the time. My mom is giving me $300/mo to live here, which helps a lot. But obviously its not enough. It’s not even half of the rent and utilities here and doesn’t include any of the food costs either or other items such as toilet paper. Paper towel etc.

I am so hopeful that it doesn’t take too long to get approved (or that I get declined). When I talked with my attorney and the SSI guy for my intake, they both said it should be 6-9 months, but could take as long as a year. I’m hopeful, with ALL of my medical issues and this newest heart surgery, that I will be approved quickly. Because I cant work, and I sure do need the money!!

My mom and I got to the food bank just about every Wednesday for their produce days. Those are the days that they give out produce, eggs, bread and milk to those who come. Its not income based, its open to anyone who wants to get in line. Most of the time the line moves pretty fast, but there have been a couple days that I was in line for an hour. But its always worth it! They always give great produce!! And of course, what we don't want, we give to my daughter in law, Elz, for my grandkids. And ten once a moth, we go to the food bank for all the other foods. We went this last Thursday and were able to get lots of food that will help fill in the gaps from the grocery store. Without those 2 things, I wouldn’t be able to make it, food wise. I also get help with cat and dog food from the local pet food pantry. It’s a huge help and I am able to access it monthly. Everything helps, and I am so thankful for that!

Okay, thats all for today! Ive been interrupted multiple times while writing, so this has taken me hours.

Have a beautiful upcoming week!!

This Is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: People Jabbering

Sunday September 3, 2023 2:54pm

On Thursday, August 24, 2023, the weather man was saying that we were supposed to get some severe weather. I kept an eye on the weather all day, because it was looking like it could be pretty bad. I had no idea just how bad it was going to be.

The day started out lovely! Sunny skies and warm temps. But as the day progressed, you could tell that a storm was coming. You know, how you can just smell the rain in the air long before it actually starts to rain and your joints start to get achy. And of course, my animals were starting to act weird, especially Ezra the cat! He was stating to act scared and was looking around and his ears were twitching.

At 6pm… I watched the local news and the weather man said that the storm was going to be severe. I figured it was just going to be a lot of rain and some wind, like it usually is when we get severe weather. The sun was still shining and only a few clouds were rolling in.

At 7pm… Mom and I had dinner ad had settled in to watch some TV, but we stayed on the local channels just in case the weather took a turn for the worst. The sun was going down and the wind had started to pick up a bit. Still under a severe thunder storm watch for Livingston County. No worries.

8pm… I decided that I needed to lower the patio umbrellas on the back deck and move the flowerpots and plants off the tables and railings because the wind was getting bad ad the weather man had said that we could get some serious winds.

9pm… The weather man was cutting into regular programming every couple minutes at this point; the storm had gotten really bad and tornados were very possible! The Lansing area was getting hit by the storm and sirens were going off in tat area, an he was sating to take cover in a basement or interior room in your house. We are only 25 miles from Lansing.

9:15pm… The wind was blowing like crazy and it had really started to rain. The cats and dog were really scared and were looking for places to hide. The power had flickered a couple of times and the weather man was saying to take cover if you were in the path of this storm!!

9:20pm… Sirens were going off in Williamston as a funnel cloud had been spotted headed East following the I96 corridor.

9:29pm… There was a tornado on the ground in Williamston and headed our way! Mom and I grabbed the cats, the dog and the carrier and headed to the bathroom. It’s the only room in my mobile home that doesn’t have windows. We shut the door and prayed!!

9:35pm… Sirens were going off in Fowlerville!! the wind was blowing so hard and the rain as slamming down onto my trailer. I was terrified, in all my years of living in a mobile home, I’d never heard the wind this strong nor the rain. I could feel my house rattling and the power was flickering. I was scared we were going to die that night! That’s a terrible feeling!!

My phone rang; it was a friend of mine urging me to come to her house to ride out the storm. I told her it was too late, the storm was upon us and we would’ve staying where we were. My son Brandon then called asking if we were okay. I told him the sirens were going off and he said it was headed straight for us and had just uprooted trees at his house. I cried…

9:40pm The noise outside was like nothing Ive ever heard before; the wind was screaming and the rain sounded like bullets hitting my house. The power went out, and I held my breath…

……and then it just stopped……

It was like someone flipped a switch and the wind and rain slowed down. And the power came back on.

Mom and I, along with the animals slowly crept out of the bathroom and looked at each other. I opened the front door and looked outside as my mom walked to the back door to look out there. Other than a few branches down, over turned flower pots and a broken umbrella, my house was unscathed.

I sat down, shaken from what we had just went through, and texted my kids to see if they were safe. All of their homes/yard, with exception to Dustin, had damage from the tornado. I would find out the day after what damage was done to their homes and yards. But at least they were alive and no one got hurt.

My son Brandon and grand daughter Emma, showed up here later that night to check on me and to make sure that my house was okay. He checked out my house and said that it looked okay. And then told me of the damage his yard took and how bad it was along the line of the tornado. I thanked God to be alive!!

I found out a couple days later that the tornado had been headed straight for my mobile community, but then moved ever so slightly to be headed towards the sub division that I used to live in. The tornado went back up less than 4 miles from my house and the town of Fowlerville.

Below are some pictures of the aftermath of the tornado, and the findings the Ingham County Emergency Management along with the National Weather Service…

The Weather Channel

Tornado Damage-Webberville

Tornado Damage-I96 Between Williamston&Webberville

Tornado Damage-Semi Over-turned Webberville I96

We assisted the US National Weather Service Grand Rapids Michigan along with the Detroit office in assessing the damage to determine the likely strength of the tornado. Here are the numbers - we will have more to post about it including graphics and radar views this weekend!

...NWS Damage Survey for 08/24/2023 Tornado Event...

.Ingham/Livingston County Tornado...

Rating: EF-2
Estimated Peak Wind: 125 mph
Path Length (Ingham):Around 10.70 miles
Path Length (Total): Around 12.00 miles
Path Width /maximum/: Around 500 yards
Fatalities: 1
Injuries: 3

Start Date: August 24, 2023
Start Time: Around 929 PM
Start Location: 2.8 SW Williamston
Start Lat/Lon: 42.6535, -84.3131

Moved onto I-96:Around 42.6649, -84.2669 Moved South of I-96:Around 42.6657, -84.2328

End Date: August 24, 2023
End Time (Ingham): Around 940 PM
End Lat/Lon (Ingham): 42.6441, -84.1477

End Time (Livingston): Around 942 PM
End Lat/Lon (Livingston): 42.6464, -84.1219

These details are preliminary and subject to change as additional information becomes available.

The tornado moved northeast from its starting point and onto I-96 where it remained for around 1.5 miles before turning southeast.
The tornado crossed M-52 South of I-96 where it remained just south of I-96 until it crossed into Livingston County after Wallace Road north of Van Orden Road. The tornado briefly continued in Livingston County before lifting near Van Buren Road west of Nicholson Road.

EF-2 damage occurred near and along I-96 with hundreds of trees snapped, several outbuildings heavily damaged and a few homes having roof, siding and window damage.

EF Scale: The Enhanced Fujita Scale classifies tornadoes into the following categories:

EF0...Weak......65 to 85 mph
EF1...Weak......86 to 110 mph
EF2...Strong....111 to 135 mph

This is Life…As MyThoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: the AC Units

Sunday August 20, 2023 4:43pm

It’s been about a month since I last posted; no excuses, I just haven’t written. Ive thought about it, have actually gotten my iPad out ad starred at it for a while, but didn't end up writing anything.

I’m sitting in my recliner, I had wanted to go outside to write, but its just too damn hot out there right now. According to the weather channel, its 86*, but it feels like 93*. The AC is helping a lot, but not the entire house. I wish that I had central air in here. Window units do help, but really, only the living room is nicely cooled.

I’m trying to not to scratch the hives I have on my arms from the major panic attack I had yesterday. Ive had panic attacks before, but this was an F10+ panic attack andI could NOT get it under control. I almost had my mom call 911, as I was hyperventilating and my chest hurt. Fortunately I remembered the deep breathing exercise that I learned from Michael, my first “counselor” that I had through my Doc office. I was able to slow my breathing down and bring my heart rate down to 85bpm from 125bpm. My blood pressure was sky high, and stayed that way most the afternoon, into the night. Luckily, I woke up this morning with normal vitals. But, I feel like Ive been beat up, and my entire body hurt/aches!

My panic attack was brought on by Avaya’s Birthday Party, at Saima and Ryan’s house. I know that I have written about what happened between my granddaughters, Emma and Avaya, back on Good Friday (the shaving incident). Well, Saima has still not allowed me to see Avaya, except for when I went to her dance recital and at Harper and Kinsley’s birthday party in July (at Dustin and Miranda’s house). I was able to spend most of that day talking to and spending time with Avaya, which was so nice. But Saima didn't say a single word to me the entire day. Nothing! She didn't even hardly look at me. To be honest, she hasn’t actually “talked” to be since she was here that night screaming at me about what had happened. I didn't attend Easter dinner (and Christmas, combined) at their house right after the incident happened. I knew that she didn't want me there, and I just could not bring myself to attend.

Well, after the way that she behaved towards me at Harper and Kinsley’s party, the thought of going to her house for Avaya’s party caused terrible anxiety and panic inside of me, and it caused a terrible panic attack. I was an absolute wreck!!!!!!!

My mom ended up texting Saima, telling her that I wasn’t coming and that I was having a terrible pani attack because of the situation and because of how Saima was treating me. I should add that my mom wasn’t going due to being sick with a head cold/summer bug. Saima did not respond, but I knew that she wouldn’t. I texted Dustin to ask if they could swing by to pick up Avaya’s gifts, he said he would.

When he got here, I was still struggling to get the panic attack under control. He asked me what was going on, and I, of course, started crying again and told him. He looked me straight in my face and said “I don't want to go either! Saima needs to get her head outta her ass!” And came over to hug me. I asked him if he would please tell Avaya that Grammie loves her, so much…and give her a hug from me. He said he would.

I haven’t seen any pictures posted of the party on Facebook and haven’t heard how the party turned out. I have texted Avaya on Facebook kids, but haven’t heard back from her yet. I’m hoping that Saima hasn’t forbid her from talking to me on there. But I can see her doing that *sigh*

I still can not believe that my daughter would keep me from my Granddaughter!! I was there the day she was born, Ive been there and have helped to take care of this child from day one!! I didn't do anything wrong!! What happened was not my fault. It really was no ones fault. It was just cousins being cousins, in my way of thinking. And Saima turned it into something REALLY bad, and have divided our family. If she had handled things the way that Elz did, the girls would be best friends again, an our family would be just fine. Instead, Saima caused the girls to hate each other, our family to be divided now and she has ripped my heart right out of my best and crushed it. And she thought nothing of it. Nothing at all.

I don't think that things will ever be the same again…

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: blah
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Th Fan Whirling

Tuesday July 25, 2023 4:32pm

Did you know that I live about 30 minutes from Hell…yep, 23 miles from my front door to Hell. Sometimes it feels like it’s whole lot closer, lol. *thats the actual road side sign leading to Hell, btw*

When we go camping, we go right by Hell and when I go to my brothers house, we are just down the street from Hell. It’s actually a tiny little town that has a cute little chapel to do weddings in, so people can say they got married in Hell. they have a bar that has excellent food and an ice cream shop too. Beyond that…if you blink, you’ll miss the town all together. Oh, and there are like 100 people living there, total.

Looks like it might rain again today. And our air quality is at 112. I am staying inside today; my lungs don't like the bad air quality at all. So I would rather stay inside with the air conditioned air til the smoke passes.

I feel like taking a nap, but I am not going to do that. My mom is getting ready to go to CR, her church group thing, so I will have the house to myself for a couple hours. I like when shes gone, I have some privacy and can just relax and have my house to myself.

Ive been working with my counselor, Hannah, on why I am allowing my mom to continue to live here and what I am going to do about it. I get so angry at times, that I can not figure out why I just keep letting her stay here like I have. This is the second time that my mom has come to live with me, in a tiny 2 bedroom trailer (back in 1988 and and 2022).

Back in 1987 she lived with me for almost a year; after selling her house in Dearborn Hgts. She had sold the fam house out in Fowlerville after she and my step-monster divorced; after she found out her sexually molested us girls. She was awarded the house, the car-everything. All he wanted was his truck and the gold and silver. Mom got the rest, PLUS…alimony, child support for my sister and a huge chunk of money for her silence about the sexual abuse.

Anyways, after she spent all the money on partying with her friends and what-not, she couldn’t afford to keep the farm house. I offered to sell my place and move back home to help her keep the farm house, but she declined, and bought a house in the city for herself and my sister…leaving me in the Ville with 2 children under the age of 4 yrs and no car. I got a job and saved for a car and ent about my life.

less tan a year later, my mom told me she missed living in The Ville and was planning to sell her house in the city and move back. Her only problem? She wasn’t going to make any money in the sale of her house in the city and she had no place to live, so could she stay with me for a while. And it wasn’t really a question, it was more of a statement telling me thats what was happening. And she sold her house and put her belongings in storage and moved in with me and my 2 children, in my 2 bedroom mobile home. I moved my 2 kids into my bedroom with me, and gave my mom their bedroom. I don't recall how long she lived with me, but I do know that I lost my job because of my mom. She was supposed to be my babysitter when I needed her for work, in lieu of rent, while she was living with me. Many times she would call off because she was too busy partying with her friends. the night I got fired, I couldn’t get a sitter for my 2 kids and my boss told m that if I wasn’t there to start my shift, I was fired. Needless to say, I got fired because my mom called me 5 minutes before I was supposed to be to work.

I finally told her that she had to move when things got serious between myself and Mike, my first husband, and we wanted to live together. It was impossible to have any privacy with my mom living with me and my kids sharing my bedroom with me. I don't recall how long it took her to get her own place, but she finally moved into her own place and I finally got my life back.

Now shes back yet again and I have no idea how to ask her to leave this time!! I want my house back! I want my life back! I want my sanity back!!

Hopefully my counselor will help me get this, and myself figured out!! FAST!!!!!!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: blah
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: The 100 on Netflix

Monday July 17, 2023 10:06pm

Ive just been sitting here, starring at this blank screen; trying to figure out what I want to write. Ive been thinking about the words all day, and I still cant figure out how to make the words come out of my head and heart through my fingers onto the blank page.

Today is my daughter, Lauri Ann’s, 38th birthday. She would have been 38 yrs old today. My heart hurts today. I cry in silence. I miss her-some days it just hurts so much, and today is one of those days. Her birthday and the day of her death are always hard on me.

Ive felt very Blah today! Moody and sad.

My mom asked me if I was feeling okay this morning; she doesn’t have a clue what today is. She hasn’t written Lauri Ann’s birthday on her calendar like she has Mitchell’s. She doesn’t keep track of my daughter’s days. She doesn’t talk about my daughter-ever!

We drove by the cemetery today, on the way home from the cat rescue and Mom glanced that way. You can see Lauri Ann’s and Mitchell’s grave sites from the road. She commented that she cant believe that Mitchell has been gone for 8.5 yrs now. No mention of Lauri being gone 38 yrs. No mention of it being her birthday, nothing! My heart is breaking inside and she says nothing.

I planted flowers in honor of Lauri Ann’s birthday today. I picked them up yesterday, to plant today. they look really good and I can watch them grow and bloom all summer long and think of my little baby girl who lives in heaven.

My words aren’t coming to me tonight, and I am just feeling angry and I dont want to write a bunch of angry words. I’m just going to get this posted and try and write another day.

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Some Movie on TV

SaturdayJuly 8, 2023 5:24pm

So I worked on an entry last week, but never posted it…and it seems that I have lost it, sssoooo…I’ll be writing it again. I truly do hate when that happens; trying to remember what I had written and what I wanted to say. Blah!! Oh well, it happens sometimes, doesn’t it.

I think the last I wrote, I had taken Paige to Ludington to catch the ferry across Lake Michigan to Wisconsin. That was…oh, three weeks ago. For the most part, she says that shes having a good time, but I get the feeling that she is having a dose of reality being there right now. She has little money, her friends are all working and she is stuck it her girlfriend, Syd’s, house by herself a lot. I asked her if she was having a good time and she hesitated and said yes. I know that she likes being around her friends, but they are working and she isn’t.

We’re working on getting her enrolled in college for fall semester. With her being in Wisconsin, its difficult for me to help her. I’m hoping that her friend, Ayden, will be able to help her out. He goes to college, so he knows what he’s doing. She NEEDS to get enrolled in school!!

My flowers on my deck are finally starting to fill out and look really good!! These pics are about a week old, so with the added rain and sunshine they’ve gotten bigger than this!! I decided, due to my disability (my knees), that I was only going to plant flowers in pots to be placed on the deck. My mom just bought a few more flowers yesterday at Lowe’s to put in a hanging basket on the Sheppard hook. I don’t care if she plants more flowers-I just wont be able to help maintain them much. I mean, I can water them, but thats about it.

Im in the process of trapping a feral kittens and their Mama again this year. I thought that I had my skirting all buttoned up tight, but this female cat managed to get under my house and had 4 babies under there. They are now about 7 weeks led and making a real mess all around my yard and the neighbors yard. I cant even stand out go out the back door because of the cat poop smell. It’s disgusting!! And of course, my mom is feeding these babies and Mama like she did the ones last year. Oh, and the Mama is pregnant again, and will be giving birth in a few weeks. UGH!! I swear, I am the crazy cat lady!!

We got very sad news earlier this week; my Aunt Judy had died the following week from diabetes complications, she was 60yrs old. Apparently her partner, Tony, was in the hospital and she was home alone for about a week. Her Doctor was talking about placing her in a home because she wasn’t able to take proper care of herself. According the to M.E., Just had taken too much insulin and died on Thursday, but wasn’t found until Friday evening when the police did a well check because she wasn’t answering her phone. Her funeral was this Thursday in Howell. I did not attend because my step-monster was going and I do not want to see that monster. I feel bad about it, but that side of my family understands completely.

The picture above is of Aunt Judy, a friend of ours Laurel and myself. It was Judys wedding day to Tom. It was a great day and I love this picture of the 3 of us. She and Tom had 2 kids; Gary and Angela. They divorced after 10’ish years of marriage. On a side note; I am 7.5 months pregnant in that picture.

Ive been working very hard at eating more healthy foods and higher proteins. I was weighed at my Doc office last week and have lost 7 lbs. I’ll weigh myself again Monday to see if Ive dropped any more weight…I hope that I have!!

My mom is still living here with me and she is still making me crazy!! I think that therapy is helping me and I really do like my counselor. We are going to start working on my anxiety/panic attacks and how to deal with them in a better way.

I finally ordered my cane; Ive had the Rx for it for over a month now. I know that I need it, but I think that actually ordering it was finally admitting that I need it to walk. thats a hard pill to swallow!! It’s hard to admit that I am no longer Super Woman. It really sucks!!

Celebrated the 4th of July with some of my family on the 3rd. Robbie and Vicky had a small BBQ/picnic and invited Mom and I, and Dustin and his family, over. It’s was nice to see some of my family. But it hurts my heart that my family is so broken right now. What Saima is doing breaks my heart!!

I got to watch some of my grandkids playing and having fun together!! Bella and Harper swam in the pool quite a bit and Liam, Connor and Kinsley playing in the water tables on the deck. I sure d love spending time with my family. I wish that it happened more often!! I wish we weren’t so divided right now. Families shouldn’t be like this!! I am still hopeful that my family will somehow come back together.

I think I am going to open the windows!! It’s much cooler today and the humidity is down. And of course, getting some fresh air in the house will be a good thing

Love and Hugs to All……

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: hungry
Current Location: MyRecliner
Current Music: The 100

Saturday June 17, 2023 3:18pm

What a beautiful day it is here in the Ville!!
The sun is shining, its 78 degrees and there is a nice breeze blowing. I can see the kittens playing with each other through the living room window-they are so damn cute!!

It’s really quiet here today; has been all morning. Paige is in Wisconsin with her girlfriend and my mom has parked herself on the patio couch under the umbrella. She spends a lot of her time sitting out there, scrolling the internet and watching the kittens. I don't go out there as often as I used to because shes always out there smoking. When I do go out there, she wants to yak my ear off and I can not stand the smell of her cigarettes!! It’s all just really annoying!!

As I said above, Paige is in Wisconsin with her girlfriend Sydney, for the summer. I drove her to Ludington yesterday morning to catch the car-ferry, SS Badger. It’s a huge boat that is used to transport vehicles and people across Lake Michigan from Ludington to Manitowoc Wisconsin. I talked to one of the boat masters, and he said that the Badger can hold 180 vehicles, depending on the size. yesterday they loaded 2 semi-trucks on the boat, along with a Uhaul truck and many vehicles. He also said that they had 410 passengers that morning! My mom told me that the Badger used to haul train cars across the lake and has been in operation since 1953. It is the last coal powered steamship in operation in the US. Kinda cool!! It takes 4 hours to cross the 60 miles, on Lake Michigan, between Ludington and Manitowoc.

Paige will be in Wisconsin til the end of August, and will take the boat back across Lake Michigan. Her plan is to get a summer job there in Wisconsin and save her money so that she doesn’t have to work wile shes in college this fall. I just finished updating her FAFSA forms for student aid. She took last year off school to have some down time and will start this coming fall. I wasn’t happy that sh took the time off, but I do understand that she needed some down time. So, til the end of August, its just my mom and I here. I’m definitely going to miss Paige!! But, she needs to live her life!!

After I got back from the 7 hour round trip from Ludington, I took a little nap and when I woe up, Mom and I finally planted some flowers that I had bought. Management here gives out a flat of flowers to residents that request them each summer. they usually get petunias, but this year the new manager got begonias. Either is fine with me, I’m not picky about free flowers. Anyways, we got the all planted in the pots that I usually plant in the summer months. Now we just have to figure out where to put them, cuz they are sun loving flowers and I really don’t want them on the ground. I’m sure Ill figure it out.

I have no real plans for this weekend; I need to clean the house a bit, but beyond that I have no plans. It’s supposed to be kinda hot, in the 80’s to near 90 degrees. Good thing our AC unit is fixed!! Maybe I will try to pull out some weeds behind the deck. Maybe…

Well…That’s The End

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: hungry
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Silence

Thursday June 15, 2023 3:30pm

Hello-Hello-Hello…Happy Thursday!!
Some call today Friday Jr…or the Weekend Eve, to me, its just Thursday.

Today is the day before I take Paige to Ludington to board the SS Badger, to head across Lake Michigan, to Manitowoc Wisconsin. She is going to spend the summer at her girlfriend, Syd’s house. She will be getting a summer job and will come home the end of August to start college at LCC. So, I’ll spend most of the day in my car, but I don't mind, I like driving and I love going to Ludington. It’s beautiful over there, and of course its on the lake, and I am most at peace while I’m near the water.

I just finished filling out my paper work for disability. Ive gotten an attorney to help with this process and am hopeful that I’ll be approved the first time, and wont have to appeal. I haven’t worked since the end of December 2022, when I had to step down from the bank job, due to my knees (and the job sucked!). I also haven’t been able to do daycare due to my knees; I cant bend, get on the floor or pick up kiddos. Anyways, we’ll see what happens with this, when it happens.

My little Maizie is doing much better!!! She’s still dealing with her false pregnancy, but shes not as obsessed with her balls as she was a couple weeks go. She still carries it around and will lay with it as if its her baby, but its not nearly as bad as its been. Her teets are still enraged and she is still lactating. But the great news is that she is eating like Normal and having normal stool. This is such a good thing and I am so relieved that shes getting better!! I was o worried about my little dog.

My Grandson, Brayden, came over yesterday to spend time with Paige before she leaves for the summer. They are super close and Im glad that he came over. Paige was 4 yrs old when Brayden was born (he’s my oldest sons, Brandon’s, first child with his ex, Stephanie. Shortly after Brayden as born, Brandon and Stephanie broke up and she wouldn’t allow any of us to see Brayden. Eventually, Stephanie got with Brandons best friend, Alex and he became Brayden’s “Dad”. When Brayden was almost 4 yrs old, Stephanie and Alex slit and she sought me out to stat allowing Brayden to come see me.

After some supervised visits with Brayden, Stephanie basically dropped Brayden off a my house and left him there for about a year. He was there every day, except 12 days that entire year! I paid for his food, his clothes, his pull-ups, everything that we did, everywhere we went. After that year that she took off from being a mother, she decided that she wanted to be his mother again, and took him back. She allowed me to continue to see him and have him, but he was living with her.

While Brayden was living with us, Paige “hated” him; she saw him as someone who was getting her Mama’s attention. I think that she was jealous that someone else was getting my love and attention. But, they were being raised more like siblings that Aunt and Nephew, and as time went on and they got older, they developed a very close relationship, like brother and sister. They are so close now…and are each others biggest cheerleaders in life. It makes me heart so happy!! I’m sure while Paige is gone for the summer, they will video chat and text with each other. And when she gets back, they will be like peas in a pod once again!

We are finally getting some much needed rain!! We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning for the next hour. What we need is for it to just rain the rest of the day! Everything is so dried out around here, they wont look any burn permits in The Ville, and the farmers are getting really worried about their crops.

Okay, I think thats all for now……

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: content
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Rain and Thunder

Sunday June 11, 2023 2:56pm

Looking out the window, I cant tell if its the smoke from the wildfires in Canada and Northern Michigan, or if its cloud cover rom the rain we are supposed to be getting. We’ve been under air quality advisories the last few days, due to the smoke in the air from the wildfires. The entire Eastern Seaboard has been under some major advisories this week, with the worst being New York. I couldn’t believe what I have seen on the news each night; its just crazy!!

Here in Michigan, we are in a drought (officially stated yesterday), and our farm crops are certainly starting to suffer! My grass is starting to burn and I noticed as I was on my way to my counselors office Thursday that the crops are not growing like they should be.

We’re supposed to get getting rain today through Tuesday, but I wonder if it will be enough to help?! The raider says rain, but I am not seeing any yet. Hopefully the skies will open up and just let loose the rain. We certainly need it here, and especially where the wildfires are!! Plus, my car is so dirty-covered with pollen and smoke residue; it needs a good bath, lol.

Ive finally talked to an attorney about applying for disability. My knees are so bad that I am struggling to even walk, let alone work. I have to use my walker when I walk now, and a cane when I am in the house or unable to use my walker. It truly SUCKS!! My attorney has said that I have a good case and I just need to finish the paper work and get it sent in. Not sure how long it will take, hopefully not to long!

This past week was Maria’s School of Dance Summer Recital. My Granddaughters, Emma and Bella, go to Maria’s and were both in the recital. Paige, my mom and I went to the Wednesday evening performance and WOW!! It was fantastic!! The theme this year was Disney and they did a outstanding job!! I couldn’t believe how much better they were than last year!! I cant wait for the next one!!

It seems that we missed all the family drama at he Thursday evening performance. Saima and Avaya were at the Thursday evening performance and thy didn't say a word to Emma or give her flowers, but they had flowers to Bella. My son Dustin and his family were there as well, and they had flowers for Emma and talked to her, but of course they have no idea what’s going on with all of that crap. Needless t say, Dustin called me on his way home from the recital and asked what the hell was going on!! So, I decided to tell him what happened, once he told me what happened at the recital.

Apparently, Robbie ran int Emma and Elz during intermission; Elz and Emma were leaving-Emma didn’t have to dance in the second half, so she was free to leave. Robbie said that they had flowers for Emma and so did Dustin and family, and that Emma should go into the auditorium to say hi and get her flowers. Elz let her go in with Robbie to where they were sitting. Well…Saima and Avaya were there too, unbeknownst to Elz or Emma. Neither Saima nor Avaya said a word to Emma, and she didn't say anything to either of them. Emma got her flowers and left.

According to Dustin, the whole thing upset Avaya really badly and she started to cry (I wonder why *insert sarcasm here*), and when Dustin asked Saima what was going on, she said that the girls had a falling out and she didn't think they’d ever be fiends again. *Seriously!!* SO that’s what Dustin called me. He and Miranda were under the assumption that the girls got into a fight while they were coloring Easter Eggs at my house on Good Friday and they just couldn’t understand that. I told them what happened, from what I knew to be fact, and what Emma’s side of the story was. I made sure to tell them that I was NOT taking sides between the girls, but that I felt that Saima had handled the whole thing very badly. Dustin and Miranda both agreed and Dustin said that Saima needs to get her panties out of the wad and get her head out of her ass. He couldn’t believe that she would behave the way that she did and still is. Of course, I agree with him! He ended the conversation with “I guess I’ll be hosting all the family get together from now on then, huh”………I guess he will.

I think that Ive written about the Mama and kittens that are living under my house already. Well, we got some pic of them recently and they are so cute!! I think the dad is the one we call Milton, who is a beautiful long haired cat. Ive talked with the rescue/rehabber that I work with, and she is willing to take the Mama and kittens as long as I am able to catch all of them at the same time. I’m willing to give it a try, cuz I don't want these guys to have to be feral all their life. I’m going to put the traps out, tied open, so they can get used to be around the traps and being fed in the traps, and then after a week or so, I will set the traps and hopefully catch them all. Keep your fingers crossed.

Oh Man!! I made THE BEST protein cookies ever!! And the are only 4 ingredients!! Over ripe bananas, rolled oats, peanut butter and chocolate chips (I also use butterscotch chips). They are so easy and so yummy!! I’ll be making these again and again!!

I’m one more step closer to having gastric by-pass surgery! I now need to do a stress test, get my psych exam and do the actual education classes with the nutritionist/dietician and then I will be able to have the surgery!! I’m so ready for this to Happen!! Sadly, the soonest stress test isn’t until September…so I still have a bit of a wait. But its getting there!!

Okay, thats all I can think of for this entry…

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: content
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Paige’s Laughter

Sunday June 4, 2023 3:37pm

HAPPY JUNE and HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!

I cant believe that 2023 is almost half over! How is that even possible!! It feels like NYE was just last week, and here we are the first week of June!! School is almost done for the year here in The Ville; Thursday is their last day. Howell had their last day last Thursday. This school year went fast! Now summer begins!!

It’s been really hot here in Mid-Michigan the last week, with temperatures in the high 80’s. They have been calling it a heat wave. It’s not usually this hot here in June, these kinds of temps are typical in late July through August. We also haven’t had any rain, which has caused a few fires in Michigan and a Forrest fire in northern lower Michigan. They were able to get it maintained, which is good! A friend of mine was on evacuation alert, but didn't end up having to leave his cabin/home.

I ended up having to take Maze to see her vet on Thursday because she was still having bloody diarrhea and passed bloody mucus from her vagina. They ran all kinds of tests on her, more than the emergency vet did and everything came back clear. Doc Gnagy diagnosed her with a “False Pregnancy” and said that she probably had a bacterial infection along with the false pregnancy, which has caused all of her issues the last 2 weeks. A false Pregnancy is where an unaltered female has a sudden change in her hormones and her body believes she is pregnant. She has developed milk filled teets and is actually lactating. She carries around her little green ball like its her baby, and nests with it. It’s the craziest thing ever, I swear! Doc Gnagy said that it will eventually go away on its own, but can last a week to what would be a full term pregnancy for a dog, which is about 2 months. the false pregnancy will happen again, unless I get her fixed. Ive created a go fund me, ( https://gofund.me/05cc178a ) to help raise funds to get her fixed. The vet bills that I have incurred already have drained my savings, and getting a female spayed, who is suffering a false pregnancy, is roughly $500, including all the blood work and pre-testing that needs to be done.

I saw my cardiologists on Wednesday, for my annual check up. I had to have an Echo and 12pt EKG done before I saw my Doc. All went well, and my heart is beating strong! The Echo showed that I have minimal regurgitation of my repaired tricuspid valve and of my mitral valve, but that my replace aortic valve is doing great!! No regurgitation at all!! That makes me super happy!!! He wants me to have a stress test, which I will schedule Monday, and hopefully they will be able to get me in quickly for that. He said that once I have the stress test, and it comes back good, he will sign off for me to have bariatric surgery. Things are moving right along!

Friday was Avaya’s summer Dance recital and they did an outstanding job!! Avaya was in 3 of the dances with her team and they did so great!! They have improved so much since last year, its amazing how much better they are doing!! My mom, Paige and I went together, Ryan and Kendra (Avaya’s Godmother) were there too, seated in the same row as we were, and Robbie, Vicky and Bella were also there, seated elsewhere. Saima was helping out back stage. I was made to feel like an outsider by Ryan, Kendra and Saima-they didn't say 2 words to me the entire recital. Afterwards, Ryan talked to me briefly about his niece, Kylie, who is also a dancer at Glenns, with Avaya.

My mom and I were talking on the way home, as we both said that Avaya looks sad when shes around me and doesn’t love on me like she typically would before all this crap happened. I’m fairly sure that shes behaving that way du to what her mom (Saima) has said and how she is behaving towards me. I feel s bad for Avaya, in punishing me, she is also punishing Avaya in the process. Hurt me all you want, but dont hurt Avaya. I just cant believe that Saima is doing this!! I would never have thought that she would behave the way that she is behaving. It breaks my heart!!

Yesterday was the birthday party for Liam and Connor, 2 of my grandsons. I wasn’t able to attend due to a Gastroparesis (GP) flare. It was horrible and lasted about 4 hours, of non stop running to the bathroom. My diagnosis is fairly new and I am still in the learning process of this disease and how to deal with the symptoms. I have heard some real horror stories about GP…and I do not want any of that!! I wish that I Had been able to attend the party, I’m sure that neither Robbie or Vicky believe that I was that sick. Of course, neither of them know about my new diagnosis, so of course they wouldn’t believe it. II have the boys gifts sitting on my kitchen table, waiting to be given to them.

My main AC unit decided to stop working earlier in the week, and we were sweltering through the heat wave here in my little tin can. My mom said something to Pastor Chris, at her church meeting Tuesday night, and she and 2 men from the church came over to try to fix it. Unbeknownst to me, if they couldn’t get it fixed, they were going to buy me a brand new AC unit. To say I was shocked is an understatement! They men, whom I had never met before, worked on my AC unit for over 2 hours. Pastor Chris had left to go buy a new AC unit at Lowe’s in Howell because the guys didn't think they were going to get it running. While she was gone, they were able to get it running again by taking it completely apart, cleaning the years of gunk out of it (it was a hand me down to me from my friend Sandy, late last summer). It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in YEARS!! It was really gross!! We got my old unit installed again and boy does it put out some seriously cold air!! Pastor his said she was goin to hold on to the new AC unit for 30 days, just in case this one went out again. I have to say that I was very humbled by the whole experience.

I think, since its cooler today, I am going to make some oatmeal protein cookies. they are so tasty and loaded with protein and good stuff. I can make a bunch and freeze some for later. Ive got 2 huge bunches of bananas that need to be used, so this is a win-win!!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: the Buzz of the AC Unit

Tuesday May 30, 2023 1:59pm

OMG!! The shit I have to deal with on a daily basis from my mom and sister!! I swear to God I am going to lose my mind!! I seriously want to pull out what hair I have left on my head…FUCK!!

My mom and sister have cell phone service through T-mobile; they’ve had the service for a year or so. According to my mom, my sisters phone hasn’t worked properly since they switched to T-mobile. My mom has said that they have called customer service multiple times trying to get the issue solved, with no avail. Over the last 2 months, the phone stopped working all together, for days at a time; she couldn’t make or receive calls or text messages.

So instead of my sister putting on her big girl panties and dealing with the issues, she made my mom call T-mobile and try to deal with things. My mom is no good at dealing with things like this, she gets confused about things, forgets what’s been said and just is far too passive to deal with stupid customer service people.

While she as on the phone with T-mobile a couple weeks ago, she was getting very confused and upset, and asked if I could help her. I said yes, and she put the phone on speaker so hat I could hear what was being said. Well, she didn’t understand what as being said to her, so she handed me the phone so that I could deal with the mess!! After about an hour, I felt that I had gotten things figured out and tha we had reached a decent compromise and it was all done. Boy was I wrong!!

Once again my sister had issues with her phone, so one again my mom had to call T-mobile for my sister, to try to get resolution for my sisters phone issues. Once again my sister shrugged off her adult responsibilities on my mom…and I ended up having to deal with it. My mom was so frustrated that she couldn’t understand anything. This time, I got T-mobile to send my sister a new phone, remove charges that were added to the account that were supposed to have been refunded previously and got a hold put on the account so that Mom and Michele could decide if they were going to stay with T-mobile or go to a different carrier. Problem solved…NOPE!!

Later that day, my sisters credit card was charged with $18 for a warranty on the new phone that was being mailed to her. She freaked out and told my mom to come over so they could deal with the issue. Of course, I wasn’t there, and have no idea what was said between T-mobile, Mom or Michele. According to my mom, the removed the charge and were going to credit it back to my sisters card.

The next day, my sister called my mom that T-mobile had charged her credit card once again for something, I don't recall what it was right now, and she wanted my mom to call T-mobile to deal with it. Mind you, Michele wasn’t nice about any of this, I could hear her yelling and cursing over the phone, telling my mom to deal with it. So, my mom calls T-mobile and hands me the phone, once again!

I once again dealt with the issue, talked to customer service, got the charge removed and credited back to my sister card and thought, once again, that the issues were solved. My sister received her replacement phone, activated it and returned her old phone per the agreement for warranty refunds. The new phone was working okay, once they upgraded the SIM card.

Over the long weekend, both my mom and sister got texts from T-mobile regarding charges to their joint account for payment; Michele’s was for $164, which was called an out of warranty charge and my mom’s was for $254, which was Michele’s fee above and their monthly bill of $90.

I was sitting here, getting ready to write a post, and my mom sits down on the couch telling me that she’s calling T-mobile. She has the phone on speaker again and I’m semi-listening to what is being said. Once again my mom isn’t understanding what the woman is saying and is getting frustrated. SO i tell her to hand me the phone so that I can deal with this again.

After having the lady go over what the charges were for I tried to explain to my mom that the phone Michele returned was damaged, therefore she had to pay for the warranty. I asked her what kind of damage ad she said the screen was cracked. I asked her to send me a pic of the damage and gave her my email address. She sent the pic and yes, the lower right of the screen was cracked. I sent Michele the pic and she texted me back saying that was the screen protector, that when she took the phone to the T-mobile store, the clerk told her to leave the screen protector on for shipment. He never tagged it with a damage tag when he took the phone.

After talking to the customer service gal, I understood why the charges were on their account;
Michele owes $164 for the damaged phone
Michele owes $45 for her half of the monthly charges
Mom owes $45 for her half of the monthly charges
Michele will owe $58.75 to pay off the balance of the phone she bought.
TOTAL: $312.75

Well, Michele said she isn’t paying another cent to T-mobile. So my mom will have to pay the balance to keep it off her credit report. Michele doesn’t care what my mom has to pay. It’s always about what Michele wants. And of course, my mom will pay it. When I told her that Michele is responsible for her portion, my moms response was that Michele doesn’t have that kind of money to make that payment. WTF!! She’s got money to go out to dinner, she’s got money to buy new clothes, shes got money to buy things for her “grandkids”…but she cant pay her bills.

I just do not understand why my mom will not make my sister be responsible for her bills and issues!!??!! She’s a fucking adult!! Make her act like on!! My frustration level is through the roof right now. I want to grab my mom by the shoulders and shake the shit out of her!!! And I want to punch my sister in the mouth!! How can 2 adults be so completely irresponsible and……fuck, I dont even know what word I am looking for!!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: the AC Unit

Monday May 29, 2023 4:48pm

Goodness, its a beautiful day today!!
Summer is finally here, and I’m loving it!! I love the sunshine and warmer temperatures! My perfect temps would be mid 70’s, but I’m okay with low 80’s too.

Dustin came over this past weekend and helped me install the window AC unit. I cant lift it by myself, but with help, I can get it into the window. This is a big unit, so it takes up most of the window. I did have to use a small bit of cardboard on both sides, but not much at all. Paige also got the portable AC unit into her bedroom, so its nice and cool inside right now.

I’m not doing anything special today; I’m going to bbq some chicken and make a pasta salad, but thats about it. I’m still getting over being sick and from being at the emergency vet Saturday night with Maizie Jane.

I think that I wrote in my last entry that my mom was sick; and going to urgent care. they tested her for Covid, RSV and the flu and everything came back negative. Well, the day after Mother’s Day I came down with her bug…Lucky me!! My mom is now convinced that we have had the Human Metapneumovirus. I did some research ad it sure does sound like what we have/had. Paige came down with it a couple days ago. The cough is terrible! I lost my voice while I was at my sickest and that lasted 4 days. Paige has been taking meds, I am not able to take most cold meds due to my heart valve. Anyways, I think that we are all finally headed to the end of this bug!

Harper’s dance recital was so cute! It was the Saturday before Mothers’ Day and Paige and I attended it. This was Harper’s first recital…probably her last too. She has decided that she doesn’t like dance practice too much and she really doesn’t like that gymnastics end of it. She has the entire summer to decide if shes going to go back to it or not tho. But she did GREAT!! the whole group did!! I enjoyed watching the entire recital, very much!

Mother’s Day: was actually really nice! Mom, Page and I went over to Dustin and Miranda’s house for a small picnic. Miranda’s folks, Joel and Julie, were there. Her brother Morgan and his fiancé Keely were there too and her Aunt Nancy and Uncle Al were also there. it was nice and relaxing. I always enjoy spending time with Miranda’s family, they are good people. Dustin grilled some meats an there were several different kinds of salad to enjoy. We were there a couple hours, and when it started getting too cold to be outside, everyone decided to head home. I’m sure that Dustin and Miranda didn't mind though, he had to get up and go to work the next morning.

Robbie, Vicky and the kids got me a beautiful bouquet of tulips for Mothers Day. They came as buds, but opened up into stunning tulips with a few days. Brandon, Elz and the kids got me a cute coffee/tea mug and a little metal sign to hang in my kitchen. I got a video message from Avaya, which made me cry, happy tears. I miss that girl, so so much!! But I didn't get anything from Saima-shes still too mad at me. Dustin and Miranda’s had the picnic. And Paige helped me clean the house without complaining at all. I got my mom some dark chocolate for Mother’s Day-thats all I could afford.

I made these cute tea cup bird feeders with some old tea cup and saucers that Ive had for a few years. I got them at garage sales and have been hanging on to them for years. they turned out pretty cute and I plan t put one outside near my back deck. I h=gave one of them to Miranda onMother’s Day as a little gift for hosting the picnic. I think that she liked it and I hope she will put it out in the back yard somewhere. I plan to make a few more, once I get my hands on some more fancy tea cup sets.

Maizie Jane: my poor little girl has been so sick! She’s been having diarrhea and vomiting for about a week, and then she started having bloody diarrhea. I ended up having to take her to the emergency vet in Williamston just before midnight Saturday (5/28). Paige came with me to the very clinic, so that I wouldn’t have to be there alone. I’m glad she was with me, we was there, waiting for about 6 hours. Her vitals came back good, she wasn’t even dehydrated…which was great!! they found that she has a bacteria in her intestines. They gave her fluid under her skin, between her shoulder blades, a shot of anti-nausea medication under the skin and sent her home with a very strong antibiotic/anti-diarrheal combination. I have to give her the medication every 12 hours and she hates it!! But, its helping!! She’s starting to act more like herself, finally. She’s really tired and has been sleeping a lot, but that makes sense; we heal when we sleep and that goes for animals too. She’s finally starting to eat more, which is good, shes lost almost 4 lbs from this bacterial infection. Im hoping that she will make a full recovery and quickly. She’s my little baby dog and I love her with my whole heart.

Ive been working on this post for hours…Ive boiled some chicken for Maizie and have been watching TV off and on. It’s just been one of those days today; just taking it easy and being kinda lazy. It’s felt really good to just be typing this out slow and easy. But…I have dinner to make! Im getting really hungry! So, I think I’ll get this posted and go make dinner. I hope everyone has had a wonderful and peaceful Memorial Day.

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Location: My recliner
Current Music: Something on TV

Friday May 12, 2023 5:40pm

I’m sitting in my recliner, I can hear the birds outside, chirping away, through the windows. Ive got 4 good sized windows in my living room; its something that I really liked about this house when I bought it. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love the sun! Love sunshine pouring through the windows!! I do have to have black out curtains though, for when its really hot and sunny outside. Living in a mobile home, it can get VERY hot inside during the hot summers.

Ive got a busy weekend coming up, thats why I’m writing now. Saturday I have the funeral of a good friends father to attend in the early afternoon, and then I have my Granddaughter, Harper’s, dance recital, in the early evening. It’s her first recital and probably her last. According to her Mom, Harper has grown tired of dance class. And then of course Sunday is Mother’s Day, and my son Dustin and his wife Miranda (Harper’s parents) are having a picnic at their house. Paige, my mom and I will be going to that. Her parents will be there, her brother Morgan and his fiancé Keely will be there too. And its possible that Miranda’s aunt and uncle will be there as well. I think it will be a nice day, but I will miss my other kids! I’m sure that they will be with their other families on Sunday.

I stopped at the cemetery in Howell on my way home from counseling this week and watched the ducks. I was surprised at how many pairs of ducks were on the lake. I love to watch the birds on the lake, but this time I only saw the ducks. I’m sure the swans and geese were hiding from the boats, wave runners and people that were in the lake. Heck, there was even a sheriff boat on the lake. the cemetery is located on Thompson Lake is downtown Howell. It’s so peaceful there, I like to go there and just wind-down after counseling. And, of course its so pretty there. My Papa used to say that cemeteries were a place to talkin’.

Ohhh, all of our fur babies!!
Ebony; shes the queen of the house now that Opal has passed. She is a crazy girl, loves to have loves, on her times only! She rolls around on the table asking for loving and often times she will fall off, lol. She barely tolerates Maizie Jane, but knows that when they are sitting on my lap together, she has to mind her manners. I think that shes about 7 yrs old, but Im not sure as she was a rescue.

Sylvester; he’s also a rescue and such a sweet little boy! Paige got him from a friend of hers that wasn’t able to care for him anymore, so we rescued him. He was a super skinny little guy when we went to pick him up. He was in a 10 gallon tank with no wheel and his water bottle was on the bedding, so he was unable to get water easily. nice he’s been with us a few months, he’s gained some weight and is doing much better. We got him a 40 gallon breeders tank, so he has so much more space. He loves dandelions, fresh fruits and veggies too.

Maizie Jane; My baby! We rescued Maizie from a breeder in the city who was planning to take her and her siblings to the pound. Her Mama is a Chinese Crested Dog and her Dad is a Chihuahua. The vet calls her a Chi-Chi (long E sound). When I got her, she was 4.4 lbs and just a tiny little thing. She has grown to a whopping 10.2 lbs and is now 2.5 yrs old. She’s the sweetest little thing, but thinks that shes a pit bull. She’s a Yappy girl, which makes me crazy, but its her breed. She’s not mean at all and especially loves kids. I sure do love this little dog!! Never thought I could love her as much as I do! She is my emotional support animal (ESA)

Ezra; he too is a rescue! He is Paige’s baby boy, and he is also her emotional support animal (ESA). Ezra is the absolute sweetest cat I have ever known! he’s such a lover. He seems to just know when you need to be loved on. He follows Paige around and is a cat nip addict. He ginormous but super gentle. And anyone who meets him falls in love with him and is just amazed at his size. When we got him, he was in rough shape and needed to be cared for. I picked him because he was the ugliest of the litter and was worried that no one would want him. And now, he’s super pretty and every one loves him!!

Paige told me that she has been talking to her Dad, Randy. I have to admit that I was surprised hen she told me that, especially after how things ended last year. But I do know that she misses having a dad in her life and he does miss her Daddy; even though he isn’t her biological father…he’s the only father she knows. I hope that he is more of a dad to her then he has been in the past years, but I don’t hold out a lot of hope. I just don't want her to get hurt by him again! he’s hurt her too much in the past, I personally would tell him to fuck off…but she is now an adult and can make her own decisions in life. Ive just told her to be careful so that she doesn’t let him break her heart again!

My mom just got home from urgent care; shes got some kind of virus and has a terrible sounding cough. She went to the urgent care that is attached to my Doc office…and has nothing good to say about them. I have to say that I love my Doc and his entire staff, but I guess the urgent care isn’t as good, according to what my mom is saying. She’s especially upset that they dont have an X-ray machine there, to take X-rays of her lungs. She said that she will never go back there again. I say whatever!

I need to go make dinner, Im starving!! Going to make breakfast for dinner; scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, French toast and bacon. Yyyuuuummmmyy!!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Chirping Birds

Sunday May 7, 2023 1:29pm

It’s a BEAUTIFUL day in the neighborhood here in The Ville!! I’m so excited for the warmer-sunny days!! the weather man says we shouldn’t be getting anymore snow, which is definite plus! I need to work on getting the summer items out of the shed and on to the decks and in the yard. I especially need to get the patio umbrellas out and put up. I am planning on moving the table and 2 chairs to the back deck because I love to have my breakfast outside in the mornings. I will put the 2 wicker chairs and side table on the front deck where the table was. I’ll be leaving the wicker couch on the back deck along with the wicker coffee table. I plan to spend a lot of time on my back deck this summer. I didn't send too much time out there last summer because my mom is always out there, smoking like a stack and listening to her church pod casts and all her other shit that I cant stand to hear. I’ll invest in a good pair of ear buds and not let her in me off like she usually does! It’s MY deck and I WILL enjoy it!!

This is my current view…I decided to come outside and enjoy the wet hare while I write! That’s another thing that I enjoy doing. My mom had been sitting on the couch, so I kicked her off because my big butt doesn’t fit in the wicker chairs (yet). The sun feels amazing!! And YES!! I am a sun worshiper!!

Saima is still not talking to me. And she isn’t allowing Avaya to talk to me either. She has blocked me on Avaya’s facebook kids messenger. I keep sending messages, and plan to screen shot them so that some day, when Avaya asks, I can show them to her so she knows that Grammie didn't stop trying. It breaks my heart that my daughter can be so heartless and unforgiving, even though, I don't feel like I am in need of forgiveness.

I have talked to my counselor, Hannah, about it…and she doesn’t understand why Saima is so mad at me about what happened. I told her that I don't understand either. I suggested that she cant blame Avaya or Emma, because that would make her a bad person, so she has to blame me. Hannah said thats possible.

Paige is home from Wisconsin. I picked her up from the airport Wednesday night. It’s good to have her home again! I do really miss her when he’s gone for weeks at a time like that. She said she wants to talk to me about going there for the summer, and getting a job there. I’m not sure howI feel about it, but the bottom line is that she is an adult and can make her own decisions. To me, there are too many issues with her doing that; she doesn’t have her drivers license, she doesn’t have a car, she would be reliant on her girlfriend and her 2 other friends to get her every where she wanted to go. I just think it would be a huge mistake. I feel that she needs to work on getting her license, get a job and save to buy a car and then start college. Once she gets her 2 yr degree, then she can move to Wisconsin if she still wants to.

To be honest, I have considered moving to Wisconsin myself. Housing is cheaper over there, and I have read that their benefits for seniors and low income folks is way higher than here in Michigan. My biggest reason for staying is that my kids and grandkids are here in Michigan. But, now with Saima not talking to me…I have her and Robbie that don't spend time with me, leaving only Dustin and his family and Brandon and his family that will spend time with me…and that isn’t often at all. It all really does hurt, a lot!!

Nothing else new here…my toe is healing, slowly. the bruise has gotten smaller but not by much. It doesn’t hurt too much anymore, which is great!!

I’m planning to grill some chicken this evening for dinner-YUM!! I didn't do too much grilling during the winter months like I typically do; the colder weather was hard on me this past year. But, its the perfect weather today!!

Y’all have a great week!!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: My Back Deck
Current Music: the Birds Chirping

Monday May 1, 2023 3:49pm

I decided to be LAZY today…I’m not DOING anything but relaxing, listening to 80’s music and writing! I woke up early because I had Brantley, but went back to sleep after I got him on the bus. I slept til almost 1pm. Couldn’t believe that I slept that late! It was nice because my mom was gone at an eye appointment, so it was super quite in here.

I think that I Have a Mama Cat under my house again this yea, and I think that she already has kittens. UGH!! I made sure to cover every opening in my skirting, so I have no idea how she was able to get in there! there is one tiny opening where the skirting didn't go all the way to the ground, so I put a couple of cinder blocks against it to block the opening. I’m guessing thats where she got in. I’m going to have to trap kittens again this year and try to find a rescue that will take them and adopt them out. Last year I was able to trap one Mama cat, we named her Baby, and her first litter of kittens (5 kittens). She was pregnant with hr second litter when I was finally able to trap her and she gave birth to 7 kittens 3 days after I got her to the rescue. Looks like I will be back at it again this summer.

Paige will be home this week Wednesday. I have to pick her up from the airport at 9pm. I don't like driving in Lansing at night, but thats when her flight is. I’ll be glad to have her home, I sure do miss her when shes gone in Wisconsin. Paige has kind of asked me if I would consider moving to Wisconsin, and while I had originally said no, I’m giving it some serious thought. With all the drama that is surrounding my eldest daughter, Saima, I kinda think that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to move away.

Saima blames me for what happened between Emma and Avaya, and refuses to talk to me about it. I don't feel its my fault and I have no guilt over it; and instead of treating this like something terrible, it should have been used as a teaching/learning experience. I can only imagine the shame and confusion that Avaya is feeling due the way her mother reacted about it and how her mom refuses to let me see her. I’m sure that she doesn’t understand at all, Ive been an intrical part of Avaya’s life since the day she was born. Hell, Ive done her daycare since she was 8 weeks old. She IS NOT going to understand any of this!!

This past weekend, I had 2 of my Grandsons-Braxson and Beau, for most of the day while their parents went to pick up a 5th wheel camper. Elz’s folks bought the camper to have it hauled to Florida, where the spend time in the winter months (snowbirds).It had to be picked up in Coldwater and brought back to their house to do some renovations before it can be taken to Florida.

We had a lot of fun playing outside and doing chalk art on my back side walk and deck stairs. We played inside too, watched the Transformers first movie, had dinner and they both passed out kinda early. Brandon and Elz didn’t get back til 3am, they ran into some issues getting the hitch put on the camper. I felt really bad for them, hey had to go to Home Depot to buy coats because they hadn’t taken any with them and didnt expect that they would still be outside working on the hitch at midnight. But, the camper is now at Brandon and Elz’s house and the work can begin.

After counseling Thursday I went to the lake and just sat and watched the birds and the water doing its thing. I felt the need to process the time spent with my counselor and that was the perfect place to do it. It felt good just to sit there. I have always felt so clam when I am near water like that. Doesn’t have to be a beach, can just be a road side park near water, like this is. I guess it reminds me of being in Tennessee, the place I call home. Gosh I miss that place, and my Grandparents, so-so much!! I haven’t been back there since my Gramma’s funeral in 2005/6. Some day I want to go back there. I know it wont be the same, but I still want to go back.

Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and lifted a chair and the seat fell off…one my big toe!! OMG!! It really hurt, but I walked it off, thinking it was okay because there was no blood. It hurt to walk for a while, but I thought it was okay. Yeah…I woke up in the middle of the night in terrible pain in that toe. This morning when I looked at my foot, I could tell it was swollen and bruised. I took the polish off that toe and this is what I found……

It hurts like hell!! It’s hot and swollen and bruised under and around the nail. There is also a cut under the nail. I feel like a dummy for dropping the chair seat on my foot, but I had no idea that chair was even loose. Needless to say, I fixed that chair and fixed another one that the seat was coming off. Those seats will not be coming off again.

While I was doing some cleaning, I moved everything out of the coat closet, so that I could put some of my clothes into it. I get anxiety when I go into my “NOT” bedroom, so I figured that I could avoid some of that anxiety by putting some of my clothes in that closet. That’s less that I have to go into. My “NOT” bedroom.

My mom saw what I was doing and asked me about it. So, I told her. I told her that that bedroom is no longer my bedroom and that going in their to get my clothes gives me anxiety. She started to say something about it still being my bedroom…and I stopped her and said no mom, its not my bedroom anymore. She said “I don't understand that kind of anxiety Lisa” and didn't say anything else. No, Im sorry for causing you anxiety or stress, no I’m sorry for taking over your bedroom…nothing but that she doesn’t understand my kind of anxiety. I wanted to scream at her, “You selfish bitch!!” But of course I didnt, I just went back to working on my clothes for the closet.

She did ask me if she was the reason that Paige didn't want to come home, and I was honest with her and told her that was a big part of it. She said that she doesn’t understand why Paige has such a problem with her…so I told her its how she feels about the LGBTQ community; and Paige in particular being gay. of course she wanted to debate that with me, and I didn't hold back. She came back with “I don't hate gay Lisa…I just wish they had been born different” And I said, “Mom, God doesn’t make mistakes!!” Of course, the debate went on for a good 30-45 minutes and I dint feel like I had gotten anywhere. My mom believes what her religion says, which, like artwork, is interpreted differently by different people. To me, my moms beliefs are just ignorant and I am so glad that I don't believe the same things that she does, My God loves all people and accepts all people. Period!

That about all…I got nothing else new. Like I said, I’m being lazy today. I am going to fry some bacon to make BLTs for dinner tonight. I have a tomato that needs to be eaten and I am going to roast some zucchini and mushrooms too. Should be tasty! I’m excited!

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: cold
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Prince

Wednesday April 26, 2023 11:33am

Good Morning!!
It’s Hump-Day and the sun is shining, which makes it a great day!! Out my window, Ive been watching these puffy white clouds float across the sky and the birds flying around all “Twitterpatted”. My cats are perched in the windows, making that little pepping noise at the birds. I have no doubt that they would attack those poor crazy love birds if it weren’t for the glass containing them. Even the dog is enjoying the sunshine atop the cat tree; she sits up there as if to say “I am the Queen”.

I got great new this morning from my bariatric surgeon; I don't have to have the colonoscopy before surgery!! I tried to book an appointment for it, but they are booked through the end of the year at one place, and have nothing til the end of summer at another. I was so worried that we would have to push my surgery back several months to wait for an opening (no pun intended, lol).

As of today, I have 2 more months of dietician testing/appointments to do, a psych evaluation, to get clearance from both my cardiologist and primary, have an EKG and to see my surgeon…and I will be all set!! I’m sure that I can get all of that done in the next 2 months. I see my cardio the end of May, my primary in June and I’m pretty sure that my new counselor can do my psych evaluation. Ohh, Im so excited!!

Paige is still in Wisconsin, but will be flying home a week from today. Her flight there was a easy one, she had one plane change and no delays. Her flight home she has a lay over in Chicago for 4 hours. I don't understand why the plane doesn’t just fly straight to Lansing instead of having to do a plane change in Chicago. The next time she goes, she’ll be taking the ferry across Lake Michigan. It’s way cheaper and takes about the same amount of time. She can do a quick weekend trip, round trip for $70.

I splurged on myself and bought a meal planner/diet journal and som stickers to go along with it! I really am excited about this thing! It’s kinda like a wedding planner book, but this one is for diets/weight loss/surgery. It’s got places for weight recording and body measurements, goals, before and after pics, food lists, calories…you get the idea!! Ive been using the “Lose It” app on my phone, and I do like it…but I wanted something that I could easily look back on and have in the future. Depending on how ell it works for me and how well I like it, I may buy another once this one is used up. It’s meant to be used for 52 weeks.

My mom just got back from PT; shes been going for several weeks now. She fell the other day, coming out of the bedroom, and hit her head on a kitchen cart and her knee on the floor. She’s got bruises on her face and knee and just found that she has bruises on her hip too. I’m just glad that she didn’t break anything!

Speaking of breaking; I broke one of my molars last night eating whoopers. UGH!! I shouldn’t have been eating them in the first place, they are loaded with sugar and empty calories, but I was emotional eating last night. Instant karma…whatever you want to call it, UGH!!

I see my counselor again tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. Ive only seen her once, but it was a very good first impression! My gut feeling was a good one about her. And boy did I open up, right out of the gate. I felt like I was all over the place talking to her…but she said she was keeping up with me. I’ll see how it goes tomorrow. Fingers Crossed!!

My Aunt Janet, my mom’s other sister, did a pencil drawing of me from my Facebook profile picture. It’s a pretty good likeness of me, but no exactly. She said that she is thinking about painting one next. She said that I have great cheekbones. Ive heard that is the Native Indian in me. I cant wait to see it in color!

Okay, thats all for now……

This is Life…As MyThoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: excited
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: My Mom Sluffing Her Feet

Sunday April 23, 2023 4:43pm

It’s hard to believe that its Spring…given the cold temps and possibilities of snow tonight. I know that in Michigan, anything can happen during early Spring, but come on!! I feel sorry for the birds that have come back and are nesting now. They have to be so cold. I am SO-SO-SO ready for warmer weather!! Oh, and SUNSHINE!!

It’s been a stressful week, maybe a bit longer than a week.

A week ago Friday, my mom and I went for our monthly appointment at Gleaner’s Food Pantry and I ended up having a full blown panic attack. I felt like I was going to pass out and I could barely walk. It was terrible!! Luckily I was able to get outside and to my car before it got any worse. Of course my mom doesn’t understand panic attacks and why I have them…and has no problem telling me that I need to just get over whatever is causing them. Yeah Mom, its just not that easy!

My cousin had court last week and it was dismissed!! No more charges will be brought against him or “Smoke” in this case. Now that he police and prosecutor have ALL the information, they have decided that there is no evidence to charge either of them.

My mom had gone down there to spend a few days with her sister, my Aunt Lauri. Brad lives there too as does Brad’s son Skyler, and Travis, my Aunt Lauri’s youngest son. My Aunt Lauri is very sick; physically and mentally. It’s a long story about her and I am not going to get into it right now, but my mom went down there to help Aunt Lauri make some Doc appointments so she can get cleared to have a colonoscopy done and to take Brad to court.

Well, my Aunt Lauri made all kinds of excuses not to make the appointments and not to make phone calls. In fact, she didn’t want to do anything at all but do “research” on her phone about all the things that are wrong with her. She refuses to believe that the things that are wrong with her have anything to do with what she does or does not do for her health. She blames everything on the house that shes living in. It’s really unbelievable to me. She believes that the Doctors diagnosis’s are always wrong and she doesn’t believe anything that they say or do. It’s really very crazy!

The night before Brad was due in court, he had a PTSD episode, and went crazy. he pulled a knife on my mom and Aunt Lauri and said he was going to kill them both. He stabbed walls in the house and punched walls in the walls. He did not hurt either of them, but totally freaked them both out. You see, Brad has been in prison before, years ago when he was just 18 yrs old. He was involved in an armed robbery, but only by association, and went to prison. While he was inside, he was beaten badly and raped, and spend 2 weeks in the hospital due to the attack. Needless to say, that is what caused the PTSD…and the possibilities of going back to prison caused a flare.

When my mom got home from being at my Aunt Lauri’s house, she told me what happened and added that she would NOT be moving in with them when they found a new place. This declaration obviously caused me to have more stress and caused a panic attack.

I have been working on finding a new counselor because I stopped going to my other counselor a while ago. And of course, no one around here takes my insurance and if they do, they aren’t taking new patients. Well, the day after my most recent panic attack, I found a counselor that takes my insurance and who is taking new patients!! She was able to get me in the very next day!! Her name is Hannah, and I really do like her. She’s a little rough around the edges and doesn’t beat around the bush! I like that in a person-especially in a counselor.

===============
Easter weekend was NOT a good weekend!!

Friday I had a few of my grandkids; Emma, Avaya, Braxton and Beau over for lunch and to color Easter eggs. It was ALOT of fun, and I think that the kids all had fun! the boys went home in the evening, and the girls were supposed to send the night and go home the next afternoon. Well…that didn't happen.

Later that evening, the girls asked if the could take a shower; thy both said that they wanted to get the egg dye off the hands and arms and that they both needed to wash their hair (which they did). They said they were going to take a shower together and I didnt think anything of it (neither did Paige, who was here with me). I asked them both if they were sure thats what they wanted to do (they are 9/10ths old) and they both said yes, they do it all the time. So, into the bathroom they went.

They weren’t in the more than 30’ish minutes, and afterwards I brushed both of the hair and we went about our evening as we normally would. The girls did their thing; talking, dancing, listening to music and just being little girls. When it came time to go to bed, I told them that they could sleep in my bed because my mom wasn’t here and they were both very excited about that!! they started getting their stuff in the bedroom. Emma walked out into the living room where I was asking for pillows because my mom had taken her 2 pillows with her. I pointed to the couch where 2 of Paiges pillows had Ben set out fr the girls and Emma grabbed them and headed back into the bedroom. Five minutes later, Avaya came out of the bedroom and started getting the couch ready to sleep on. I asked her what was going on and she said that Emma wouldn’t give her a pillow, so she was going to sleep on the couch. I knew that wasn’t the reason; Avaya likes to sleep in the room where I am sleeping, shes cared at night.

When I looked over at Avaya, she was crying an I asked her what was wrong, to which she said she was missing her mommy. I asked her if she wanted to go home, and she said that she did, so we face timed with Saima to tell her to come get Avaya. Avaya had just started some ADHD meds, so naturally Saima and assumed that the meds were effecting her and that was why she was so emotional.

Saima got her roughly 30 minutes later (1am) and she and Avaya headed out. Emma came out into the living room and Paige followed her. That’s when Saima stormed into the front door yelling that she was pissed off. When I asked her why, she said that Emma had shaved Avaya while in the shower. I was confused and said, “shaved Avaya?” And Saima screamed “HER PRIVATES!!!!!!!!” I looked over at Emma, who was now crying and asked “why would you do that Emma?” And she said “it wasn’t my decision, she asked me to…” Saima yelled, “shes only 9 fucking years old!!!!” All the while both Avaya and Emma are now crying hysterically, and Saima grabbed Avaya and walked out, slamming my door hard enough to make pictures fall off the wall.

I was in complete shock and didnt even know what to say. Paige had moved closer to Emma in fear that Saima may hit her while she was screaming at me. Emma fell to the floor in tears, repeating over and over “it wasn’t my decision, she asked me to do it…”

I called Elz, Emma’s mom and told her what had just happened and asked her to come over to my house immediately, which she did. We talked for a good 45 minutes once she got here, and Elz was able to calm Emma down and get some answers as to what had happened.

According to Emma, she was shaving her arm pits, which she does and her mom (Elz) knows that she does and Avaya was very curious about it. She mentioned to Emma that she wanted to shave her incoming pubic hairs but was afraid that she would cut herself and asked if Emma would do it for her. According to Emma, she sued Avaya a couple times if she was sure and she kept saying yes she was sure, so Emma started shaving her. then Emma said that she felt weird about doing it and wanted to stop, but Avaya wanted her to finish, so she did. Emma said that if she doesn’t do what Avaya wants her to do, then Avaya gets really mad at her and treats her badly and wont talk to her and she didn't want that, so she did what Avaya asked her to do.

I don't know Avaya’s side of the story because Saima wont talk to me. She wont return any of my text messages and wont call me. Ive texted her asking why she is so mad at me-but she wont respond. Ive also texted her that I’m sorry, but she wont respond to me.

Easter Sunday my family was supposed to have dinner at Saima’s house. Brandon, Elz and Family didn’t go because they felt that one day (Saturday) wasn’t enough of a cool down period for everyone involved, plus Emma didn't want to go, saying she was scared of Aunt Saima. I don't blame her for that!

Being that Saima was yelling at me when she picked Avaya up, I asked her if she wanted me to stay home for Easter dinner. She didn’t respond to me for over 6 hours, and simply said “no.” I knew that meant I don't want you to come to my house, so I didn't attend. I did make the food that I had signed up to make and sent it with my mom for everyone to enjoy. My mom gave the excuse that I was having a Gastroparesis flare and wasn’t able to attend. And the truth is, I was having a flare and my guts were twisted up inside me hurting terribly…so that wasn’t a full out lie. I also knew if I attended, the flat would be so much worse, so I stayed home

The weekend after Easter, I was supposed to go to Avaya’s dance competition in Novi, but saima never talked to me or gave me my ticket so that I could attend. I was heart broken and can only imagine how Avaya must have felt that her Grammie wasn’t there t watch her. I hope that she doesn’t think that I am ma at her or anything like that!! I could never be mad at her!!

Ive talked to Avaya a couple times on FaceTime, but she hasn’t been allowed to come to my house on our normal Fridays after school. I texted Saima last week and asked if I was picking Avaya up Friday and i got “no” no explanation or anything. Just no. I have no idea how long she is going to stay mad at me…what I do know is that shes a red headed grudge holder. What I do know is this has REALLY hurt my feelings! I would never have thought that Saima would keep my grand daughter from me like this!! I think thats what hurts the most. I really miss seeing and spending time with Avaya.

Ive got more to write…but need to take a break

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa Marie~

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: The Birds Chirping

Monday April 3, 2023 8:28pm

Good Evening!!
Cant believe that its the first Monday of April…yeah, APRIL!! This year has been flying by so far. I’m not complaining, not really…I want mid June to get here quickly, but I don't want the year to fly by.

Today started out beautifully; lots of sun an warmer temps, but it didn’t last long and its been raining most of the afternoon. But at least it was nice while I was out and about. I even stopped at Thompson Lake cemetery to watch the swans and the sunshine.

Had an appointment with a knee surgeon this morning; my Doc referred me to have my knees looked at. Ive been having serious pain in my knees for years, and recently its gotten much worse.

Doc Harper did at least a dozen X-rays and an exam, and said that I have severe arthritis in both knees, but more so in my right knee. I was really reprised because I have far more pain in my left knee. He said that is due to tendinitis. He said that I definitely need knee replacement for both knees, but that I need to finish my weight loss journey to get the best out-come. I agree!! He said that for now, I can continue to have the steroid shots with my primary Doc, and that if those stop working, we can try to gel shots. He did say that I could try PT for the tendinitis if I want to try that, so I said yes.

When I pulled into the parking lot, this “Kevin” was hanging out on a grassy area, close to the pond thats next to the building. He didnt try to hurt anyone and didnt seem to care that humans were all around him. He just went about his business and was gone when I came out after my appointment. We call them “Kevins” after the Disney Movie UP. I love seeing them!!

My family is celebrating “East-Mas” this Sunday; Easter and Christmas combined. We couldn’t get together for Christmas due to Saima being in the hospital-we all decided to wait until she was well enough to celebrate too. It should be a great day!! I cant wait!!

I’m getting sleepy, so I am going to get this posted.

Have a Good Night

This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: My Recliner
Current Music: Maizie Jane Snoring

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Thoughts Wander

Life…as My Thoughts Wander

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December 2023

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