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A Little of This…And A lot of That
May. 1st, 2023 05:05 pmMonday May 1, 2023 3:49pm
I decided to be LAZY today…I’m not DOING anything but relaxing, listening to 80’s music and writing! I woke up early because I had Brantley, but went back to sleep after I got him on the bus. I slept til almost 1pm. Couldn’t believe that I slept that late! It was nice because my mom was gone at an eye appointment, so it was super quite in here.
I think that I Have a Mama Cat under my house again this yea, and I think that she already has kittens. UGH!! I made sure to cover every opening in my skirting, so I have no idea how she was able to get in there! there is one tiny opening where the skirting didn't go all the way to the ground, so I put a couple of cinder blocks against it to block the opening. I’m guessing thats where she got in. I’m going to have to trap kittens again this year and try to find a rescue that will take them and adopt them out. Last year I was able to trap one Mama cat, we named her Baby, and her first litter of kittens (5 kittens). She was pregnant with hr second litter when I was finally able to trap her and she gave birth to 7 kittens 3 days after I got her to the rescue. Looks like I will be back at it again this summer.
Paige will be home this week Wednesday. I have to pick her up from the airport at 9pm. I don't like driving in Lansing at night, but thats when her flight is. I’ll be glad to have her home, I sure do miss her when shes gone in Wisconsin. Paige has kind of asked me if I would consider moving to Wisconsin, and while I had originally said no, I’m giving it some serious thought. With all the drama that is surrounding my eldest daughter, Saima, I kinda think that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to move away.
Saima blames me for what happened between Emma and Avaya, and refuses to talk to me about it. I don't feel its my fault and I have no guilt over it; and instead of treating this like something terrible, it should have been used as a teaching/learning experience. I can only imagine the shame and confusion that Avaya is feeling due the way her mother reacted about it and how her mom refuses to let me see her. I’m sure that she doesn’t understand at all, Ive been an intrical part of Avaya’s life since the day she was born. Hell, Ive done her daycare since she was 8 weeks old. She IS NOT going to understand any of this!!
This past weekend, I had 2 of my Grandsons-Braxson and Beau, for most of the day while their parents went to pick up a 5th wheel camper. Elz’s folks bought the camper to have it hauled to Florida, where the spend time in the winter months (snowbirds).It had to be picked up in Coldwater and brought back to their house to do some renovations before it can be taken to Florida.
We had a lot of fun playing outside and doing chalk art on my back side walk and deck stairs. We played inside too, watched the Transformers first movie, had dinner and they both passed out kinda early. Brandon and Elz didn’t get back til 3am, they ran into some issues getting the hitch put on the camper. I felt really bad for them, hey had to go to Home Depot to buy coats because they hadn’t taken any with them and didnt expect that they would still be outside working on the hitch at midnight. But, the camper is now at Brandon and Elz’s house and the work can begin.
After counseling Thursday I went to the lake and just sat and watched the birds and the water doing its thing. I felt the need to process the time spent with my counselor and that was the perfect place to do it. It felt good just to sit there. I have always felt so clam when I am near water like that. Doesn’t have to be a beach, can just be a road side park near water, like this is. I guess it reminds me of being in Tennessee, the place I call home. Gosh I miss that place, and my Grandparents, so-so much!! I haven’t been back there since my Gramma’s funeral in 2005/6. Some day I want to go back there. I know it wont be the same, but I still want to go back.
Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and lifted a chair and the seat fell off…one my big toe!! OMG!! It really hurt, but I walked it off, thinking it was okay because there was no blood. It hurt to walk for a while, but I thought it was okay. Yeah…I woke up in the middle of the night in terrible pain in that toe. This morning when I looked at my foot, I could tell it was swollen and bruised. I took the polish off that toe and this is what I found……
It hurts like hell!! It’s hot and swollen and bruised under and around the nail. There is also a cut under the nail. I feel like a dummy for dropping the chair seat on my foot, but I had no idea that chair was even loose. Needless to say, I fixed that chair and fixed another one that the seat was coming off. Those seats will not be coming off again.
While I was doing some cleaning, I moved everything out of the coat closet, so that I could put some of my clothes into it. I get anxiety when I go into my “NOT” bedroom, so I figured that I could avoid some of that anxiety by putting some of my clothes in that closet. That’s less that I have to go into. My “NOT” bedroom.
My mom saw what I was doing and asked me about it. So, I told her. I told her that that bedroom is no longer my bedroom and that going in their to get my clothes gives me anxiety. She started to say something about it still being my bedroom…and I stopped her and said no mom, its not my bedroom anymore. She said “I don't understand that kind of anxiety Lisa” and didn't say anything else. No, Im sorry for causing you anxiety or stress, no I’m sorry for taking over your bedroom…nothing but that she doesn’t understand my kind of anxiety. I wanted to scream at her, “You selfish bitch!!” But of course I didnt, I just went back to working on my clothes for the closet.
She did ask me if she was the reason that Paige didn't want to come home, and I was honest with her and told her that was a big part of it. She said that she doesn’t understand why Paige has such a problem with her…so I told her its how she feels about the LGBTQ community; and Paige in particular being gay. of course she wanted to debate that with me, and I didn't hold back. She came back with “I don't hate gay Lisa…I just wish they had been born different” And I said, “Mom, God doesn’t make mistakes!!” Of course, the debate went on for a good 30-45 minutes and I dint feel like I had gotten anywhere. My mom believes what her religion says, which, like artwork, is interpreted differently by different people. To me, my moms beliefs are just ignorant and I am so glad that I don't believe the same things that she does, My God loves all people and accepts all people. Period!
That about all…I got nothing else new. Like I said, I’m being lazy today. I am going to fry some bacon to make BLTs for dinner tonight. I have a tomato that needs to be eaten and I am going to roast some zucchini and mushrooms too. Should be tasty! I’m excited!
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
I decided to be LAZY today…I’m not DOING anything but relaxing, listening to 80’s music and writing! I woke up early because I had Brantley, but went back to sleep after I got him on the bus. I slept til almost 1pm. Couldn’t believe that I slept that late! It was nice because my mom was gone at an eye appointment, so it was super quite in here.
I think that I Have a Mama Cat under my house again this yea, and I think that she already has kittens. UGH!! I made sure to cover every opening in my skirting, so I have no idea how she was able to get in there! there is one tiny opening where the skirting didn't go all the way to the ground, so I put a couple of cinder blocks against it to block the opening. I’m guessing thats where she got in. I’m going to have to trap kittens again this year and try to find a rescue that will take them and adopt them out. Last year I was able to trap one Mama cat, we named her Baby, and her first litter of kittens (5 kittens). She was pregnant with hr second litter when I was finally able to trap her and she gave birth to 7 kittens 3 days after I got her to the rescue. Looks like I will be back at it again this summer.
Paige will be home this week Wednesday. I have to pick her up from the airport at 9pm. I don't like driving in Lansing at night, but thats when her flight is. I’ll be glad to have her home, I sure do miss her when shes gone in Wisconsin. Paige has kind of asked me if I would consider moving to Wisconsin, and while I had originally said no, I’m giving it some serious thought. With all the drama that is surrounding my eldest daughter, Saima, I kinda think that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to move away.
Saima blames me for what happened between Emma and Avaya, and refuses to talk to me about it. I don't feel its my fault and I have no guilt over it; and instead of treating this like something terrible, it should have been used as a teaching/learning experience. I can only imagine the shame and confusion that Avaya is feeling due the way her mother reacted about it and how her mom refuses to let me see her. I’m sure that she doesn’t understand at all, Ive been an intrical part of Avaya’s life since the day she was born. Hell, Ive done her daycare since she was 8 weeks old. She IS NOT going to understand any of this!!
This past weekend, I had 2 of my Grandsons-Braxson and Beau, for most of the day while their parents went to pick up a 5th wheel camper. Elz’s folks bought the camper to have it hauled to Florida, where the spend time in the winter months (snowbirds).It had to be picked up in Coldwater and brought back to their house to do some renovations before it can be taken to Florida.
We had a lot of fun playing outside and doing chalk art on my back side walk and deck stairs. We played inside too, watched the Transformers first movie, had dinner and they both passed out kinda early. Brandon and Elz didn’t get back til 3am, they ran into some issues getting the hitch put on the camper. I felt really bad for them, hey had to go to Home Depot to buy coats because they hadn’t taken any with them and didnt expect that they would still be outside working on the hitch at midnight. But, the camper is now at Brandon and Elz’s house and the work can begin.
After counseling Thursday I went to the lake and just sat and watched the birds and the water doing its thing. I felt the need to process the time spent with my counselor and that was the perfect place to do it. It felt good just to sit there. I have always felt so clam when I am near water like that. Doesn’t have to be a beach, can just be a road side park near water, like this is. I guess it reminds me of being in Tennessee, the place I call home. Gosh I miss that place, and my Grandparents, so-so much!! I haven’t been back there since my Gramma’s funeral in 2005/6. Some day I want to go back there. I know it wont be the same, but I still want to go back.
Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and lifted a chair and the seat fell off…one my big toe!! OMG!! It really hurt, but I walked it off, thinking it was okay because there was no blood. It hurt to walk for a while, but I thought it was okay. Yeah…I woke up in the middle of the night in terrible pain in that toe. This morning when I looked at my foot, I could tell it was swollen and bruised. I took the polish off that toe and this is what I found……
It hurts like hell!! It’s hot and swollen and bruised under and around the nail. There is also a cut under the nail. I feel like a dummy for dropping the chair seat on my foot, but I had no idea that chair was even loose. Needless to say, I fixed that chair and fixed another one that the seat was coming off. Those seats will not be coming off again.
While I was doing some cleaning, I moved everything out of the coat closet, so that I could put some of my clothes into it. I get anxiety when I go into my “NOT” bedroom, so I figured that I could avoid some of that anxiety by putting some of my clothes in that closet. That’s less that I have to go into. My “NOT” bedroom.
My mom saw what I was doing and asked me about it. So, I told her. I told her that that bedroom is no longer my bedroom and that going in their to get my clothes gives me anxiety. She started to say something about it still being my bedroom…and I stopped her and said no mom, its not my bedroom anymore. She said “I don't understand that kind of anxiety Lisa” and didn't say anything else. No, Im sorry for causing you anxiety or stress, no I’m sorry for taking over your bedroom…nothing but that she doesn’t understand my kind of anxiety. I wanted to scream at her, “You selfish bitch!!” But of course I didnt, I just went back to working on my clothes for the closet.
She did ask me if she was the reason that Paige didn't want to come home, and I was honest with her and told her that was a big part of it. She said that she doesn’t understand why Paige has such a problem with her…so I told her its how she feels about the LGBTQ community; and Paige in particular being gay. of course she wanted to debate that with me, and I didn't hold back. She came back with “I don't hate gay Lisa…I just wish they had been born different” And I said, “Mom, God doesn’t make mistakes!!” Of course, the debate went on for a good 30-45 minutes and I dint feel like I had gotten anywhere. My mom believes what her religion says, which, like artwork, is interpreted differently by different people. To me, my moms beliefs are just ignorant and I am so glad that I don't believe the same things that she does, My God loves all people and accepts all people. Period!
That about all…I got nothing else new. Like I said, I’m being lazy today. I am going to fry some bacon to make BLTs for dinner tonight. I have a tomato that needs to be eaten and I am going to roast some zucchini and mushrooms too. Should be tasty! I’m excited!
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
