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Is it Crazy or Happy Pills…i dunno
Apr. 7th, 2022 02:15 amThursday April 7, 2022 12:44am
Why the hell am I still awake?!?!
Well……I have got too much in my mind right now, and I just cant calm myself down. I am seriously struggling with the stress and drama that my mom has brought into my home…into my life and into Paige’s life! My Doc has put me on another “crazy pill” to help with my anxiety. I swear I am going to lose my mind, what’s left of it that is!
Last week I had a video visit with my Doc cuz I was sick (I’m still not 100% yet). The entire time I was talking to my Doc, my mom was starring at me-listening to every word that was being said…and she wasn’t being sneaky about it at all. It was obvious that she didn’t care that I knew she was listening, she didn’t care one bit about my privacy. PRIVACY…HA!! Thats funny cuz I have none in my home anymore, unless I am in the bathroom! My mom is in my bedroom so I cant go in there for privacy. When I am in the kitchen-she’s in the kitchen. When I am in the living room-yep, you guessed it, so is my mom!
Luckily for me, I had an in office visit with my Doc last Thursday too. We talked about my diabetes and the fact that I am officially a controlled diabetic now!! Yay for me!! We talked about my knee and seeing a specialist. We talked about my heart and how good its doing and what my cardiologist said.
AND…………
We talked about my weight and the fact that I have gained 17 lbs since my mom moved in!!!!!! He said he was going to give me grief about the weight gain…but when I started talking about the amount of stress I a under, due to my mom living with me and all the shit with my sister, he said he wasn’t going to lecture me, I didn’t need a lecture. He did say that I need to find a way to get rid of the extra stress because its so bad for my heart. I told him that I didn’t know how to get rid of the stress. That’s when e said he was putting me on the new “crazy pills” and also strongly suggested that I start seeing a counselor or someone to help me with all of this mess.
The most recent stress and drama are over my mom’s DTE (electric) bill. Pull up a chair ad grab some popcorn……
So my mom and sister have lived together most of the last 53 years. Michele has lived on her own about 4 yrs during that time, but has mostly lived it’s my mom in my mom’s houses. They last 13’ish years they have lived in a mobile home that they share, but all of the utilities are in my mom’s name including the car insurance and the cell phone bill. When my mom moved out of their shared home, I suggested that she put all the bills in my sister’s name. Why should my mom be paying any of the bills at a place that she isn’t living? Well, she didn’t listen to me…which didn’t surprise me in the slightest.
Fast forward to the last week.
My mom had her DTE account on a senior shut off protection payment plan; which means that she pays the same amount each month no matter what the actual bill is…and as long as she makes the payments on time, her services do not get shut off. Pretty straight forward and simple. Since February, Michele has been paying the bills herself, BUT…she hasn’t been paying the payment plan amount, she has only been paying the actual amount of the bill. Her reasoning is that she didn’t sign up for that plan therefore she wasn’t paying that amount. So, my mom in all her brilliant wisdom decided that she is going to pay off the balance of the electric bill so that there will be a zero balance And what Michele paid in the future would cover the bill. WTF!? Seriously!! No it doesn’t work that way. I mean, it does…but Michele is also responsible for that past due balance and the amount that she didn’t pay for the payment plan.
I ended up having to deal with DTE for my mom; there was some kind of confusion about the bill and what the actual amount owed was. That’s how I found out that Michele wasn’t paying the payment plan amount and that my mom was paying the remainder of the payment plan amount. And it isn’t just a few bucks!! As it stands right now, my sister owes my mom nearly $500 for the electric bill…charges she incurred herself and while my mom was living there too! I finally convinced my mom to have the electric transferred into my sisters name and out of her name and my sister had an absolute fit about it!
While talking with my mom about the DTE bill, I asked her why she doesn’t push Michele to pay her portion of the bill. Her response; because Michele is struggling financially right now while she’s going to school to finish her degree. Are you fucking kidding me!! I AM STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY FULLY SUPPORTING MY MOM!! Give me $500!! Better yet, save your fucking money towards a place of your own!! Our agreement was that she would live here for free (and I am talking she doesn’t pay for a single thing, unless its something she wants to buy strictly for herself), and saves all of her money so that she can get a place of her own! But here she is, paying the electric bill that Michele is incurring! I am fit to be tired!! This is exactly what happened the last time she lived with me many many years ago. She kicked me out 3 weeks after my daughter Lauri Ann died. About a year later, she moved in with me with the agreement that she would babysit Saima and Brandon while I worked. She would live with me for free, so that she could save her money to get a place of her own. She caused me to lose my job because she would call off last minute for babysitting and wasted her money on drinking and who knows what. She’s not drinking this time; but she’s not saving her money to get her own place!
She’s been here 3 months now and has done NOTHING to find herself a place to live. She hasn’t filled out one rental application, she hasn’t looked at one apartment. My sister told my mom yesterday that her plan is now to stay in their shared mobile home another year or so. And that at the time, if my mom wants to move in there she can buy my sister out of her share of the trailer. Personally, I feel that my sister should be paying rent to my mom for her share of the trailer that she isn’t able to live in.
I just dont understand why my mom coddles Michele like she does. Why she is constantly making excuses and defending her. I dont understand why she does these things and doesn’t see the wrong in all of it! How can she think its okay to live here for free…but pay my sisters bills. I just do not understand! And of course I feel like I can’t say anything to my mom about any of this; she either gets mad at me or upset.
And I am so stressed out about all of this that I’m losing my hair, I cant sleep, all I do is eat and cry. My Doc has had to put me on another “crazy pill” to help with my anxiety. Paige is stressed out and rarely comes out of her bedroom anymore except to use the bathroom and get food…then she goes right back into her bedroom. When I leave the house I dont want to come home. Hell, I sat in the Walmart parking lot the other day for over an hour because I didn’t want to come home. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!! I cant afford to help my mom financially…I cant hardly afford to pay my own bills. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want my life back.
I just want my life back…and I feel guilty for even saying that.
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
Why the hell am I still awake?!?!
Well……I have got too much in my mind right now, and I just cant calm myself down. I am seriously struggling with the stress and drama that my mom has brought into my home…into my life and into Paige’s life! My Doc has put me on another “crazy pill” to help with my anxiety. I swear I am going to lose my mind, what’s left of it that is!
Last week I had a video visit with my Doc cuz I was sick (I’m still not 100% yet). The entire time I was talking to my Doc, my mom was starring at me-listening to every word that was being said…and she wasn’t being sneaky about it at all. It was obvious that she didn’t care that I knew she was listening, she didn’t care one bit about my privacy. PRIVACY…HA!! Thats funny cuz I have none in my home anymore, unless I am in the bathroom! My mom is in my bedroom so I cant go in there for privacy. When I am in the kitchen-she’s in the kitchen. When I am in the living room-yep, you guessed it, so is my mom!
Luckily for me, I had an in office visit with my Doc last Thursday too. We talked about my diabetes and the fact that I am officially a controlled diabetic now!! Yay for me!! We talked about my knee and seeing a specialist. We talked about my heart and how good its doing and what my cardiologist said.
AND…………
We talked about my weight and the fact that I have gained 17 lbs since my mom moved in!!!!!! He said he was going to give me grief about the weight gain…but when I started talking about the amount of stress I a under, due to my mom living with me and all the shit with my sister, he said he wasn’t going to lecture me, I didn’t need a lecture. He did say that I need to find a way to get rid of the extra stress because its so bad for my heart. I told him that I didn’t know how to get rid of the stress. That’s when e said he was putting me on the new “crazy pills” and also strongly suggested that I start seeing a counselor or someone to help me with all of this mess.
The most recent stress and drama are over my mom’s DTE (electric) bill. Pull up a chair ad grab some popcorn……
So my mom and sister have lived together most of the last 53 years. Michele has lived on her own about 4 yrs during that time, but has mostly lived it’s my mom in my mom’s houses. They last 13’ish years they have lived in a mobile home that they share, but all of the utilities are in my mom’s name including the car insurance and the cell phone bill. When my mom moved out of their shared home, I suggested that she put all the bills in my sister’s name. Why should my mom be paying any of the bills at a place that she isn’t living? Well, she didn’t listen to me…which didn’t surprise me in the slightest.
Fast forward to the last week.
My mom had her DTE account on a senior shut off protection payment plan; which means that she pays the same amount each month no matter what the actual bill is…and as long as she makes the payments on time, her services do not get shut off. Pretty straight forward and simple. Since February, Michele has been paying the bills herself, BUT…she hasn’t been paying the payment plan amount, she has only been paying the actual amount of the bill. Her reasoning is that she didn’t sign up for that plan therefore she wasn’t paying that amount. So, my mom in all her brilliant wisdom decided that she is going to pay off the balance of the electric bill so that there will be a zero balance And what Michele paid in the future would cover the bill. WTF!? Seriously!! No it doesn’t work that way. I mean, it does…but Michele is also responsible for that past due balance and the amount that she didn’t pay for the payment plan.
I ended up having to deal with DTE for my mom; there was some kind of confusion about the bill and what the actual amount owed was. That’s how I found out that Michele wasn’t paying the payment plan amount and that my mom was paying the remainder of the payment plan amount. And it isn’t just a few bucks!! As it stands right now, my sister owes my mom nearly $500 for the electric bill…charges she incurred herself and while my mom was living there too! I finally convinced my mom to have the electric transferred into my sisters name and out of her name and my sister had an absolute fit about it!
While talking with my mom about the DTE bill, I asked her why she doesn’t push Michele to pay her portion of the bill. Her response; because Michele is struggling financially right now while she’s going to school to finish her degree. Are you fucking kidding me!! I AM STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY FULLY SUPPORTING MY MOM!! Give me $500!! Better yet, save your fucking money towards a place of your own!! Our agreement was that she would live here for free (and I am talking she doesn’t pay for a single thing, unless its something she wants to buy strictly for herself), and saves all of her money so that she can get a place of her own! But here she is, paying the electric bill that Michele is incurring! I am fit to be tired!! This is exactly what happened the last time she lived with me many many years ago. She kicked me out 3 weeks after my daughter Lauri Ann died. About a year later, she moved in with me with the agreement that she would babysit Saima and Brandon while I worked. She would live with me for free, so that she could save her money to get a place of her own. She caused me to lose my job because she would call off last minute for babysitting and wasted her money on drinking and who knows what. She’s not drinking this time; but she’s not saving her money to get her own place!
She’s been here 3 months now and has done NOTHING to find herself a place to live. She hasn’t filled out one rental application, she hasn’t looked at one apartment. My sister told my mom yesterday that her plan is now to stay in their shared mobile home another year or so. And that at the time, if my mom wants to move in there she can buy my sister out of her share of the trailer. Personally, I feel that my sister should be paying rent to my mom for her share of the trailer that she isn’t able to live in.
I just dont understand why my mom coddles Michele like she does. Why she is constantly making excuses and defending her. I dont understand why she does these things and doesn’t see the wrong in all of it! How can she think its okay to live here for free…but pay my sisters bills. I just do not understand! And of course I feel like I can’t say anything to my mom about any of this; she either gets mad at me or upset.
And I am so stressed out about all of this that I’m losing my hair, I cant sleep, all I do is eat and cry. My Doc has had to put me on another “crazy pill” to help with my anxiety. Paige is stressed out and rarely comes out of her bedroom anymore except to use the bathroom and get food…then she goes right back into her bedroom. When I leave the house I dont want to come home. Hell, I sat in the Walmart parking lot the other day for over an hour because I didn’t want to come home. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!! I cant afford to help my mom financially…I cant hardly afford to pay my own bills. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want my life back.
I just want my life back…and I feel guilty for even saying that.
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
