![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hello February
Feb. 4th, 2023 04:39 pmSaturday February 4, 2023 2:45pm
I cant believe that January has come and gone…and February is already here! The days just go b way too fast!! I wish that time would just slow down, so we could al just catch our breath!
Paige is home!! I picked her up from the airport on Friday (01/27), she’d been gone for a month, visiting her GF and other friends in Wisconsin. Originally she was supposed to come home on the 17th, but she extended her vacation to include a concert, that they didnt end up going to due to a fight she ad her friend Spence had. It’s a long teenaged drama story, that I dont feel like writing about. So, needless to say, no concert but extended vacation time.
According to Paige, she had a really good time, despite the fight with Spence. She got to spend a lot of good quality time with Syd, her GF, and she met a few of Syd’s good friends and got to know them too. All in all, she said it was a great time!!
Once again, however, she brought home a souvenir that I dont want; COVID!! So far, shes the only one who has it and I really hope it stays that way!! Im fairly certain that she picked it up in the Chicago airport or on the plane. It seems to be a mild case and she isn’t even running a fever, she just has the cough, congestion, body aches and fatigue that go along with Covid. I had her take 2 tests, just to be sure. Both came up positive immediately!
The day after Paige got home, we went and rescued a hamster. He’s a young Syrian hammie that one of her friends had. he’s been living in a small 10 gallon tank with no wheel. The water bottle was sitting on the bedding and he was unable to drink water and she couldn’t afford to feed him. When we got him, he was skin and bones, but super sweet. We got him food, a new water bottle with feeding dish and a saucer wheel. We’ll be getting him a larger tank as soon as Paige is able to go out in public again. He LOVES his new wheel and runs like crazy on it. I’m just glad that we were able to rescue him and give him a good home.
On January 23, 2023 I had to have my Opal Fat Cat put down. She had started going down hill a couple weeks prior, and it got really bad over the weekend. I called the vet Monday morning and talked to her and she had me bring Opal in that afternoon. Once there, the vet could tell, just by looking at her, that something was very wrong. They took her back and did an X-ray and found that her heart was very enlarged and that she was retaining water badly in her legs and body. They came back and said that she was in heart failure and was suffering and that the humane thing to do was to put her down. I knew that she was sick, but had no idea it was that bad. I made the decision to have her put down.
They tried to find a vein in her leg to start the IV for the meds, but she was so swollen that they couldn’t get one. They had to give her a shot to make her sleepy, and then they gave her the euthanasia medication directly into her kidneys, which then pumped it into her body/heart. I got to hold her until she passed; it was very peaceful and I knew that she wasn’t in pain anymore. I cried so hard, as I rocked with her in my arms. She was my cat and I sure do miss her.
My son Dustin came over that night, after work, to bury her for me. I picked the spot between my deck/shed/house and I plan to plant a tree there this spring. It will be the perfect place for a shade tree ad I think that Opal would have liked to see the birds that will hang out in a tree.
So in my last entry, I believe that I wrote that my mom was still living here. Well, she left, for all of 2 days, and ended up coming back because she couldn’t stand being around my sister and her trailer no longer felt like home to her. Yeah,
I need to explain…
I dont recall the exact date, mid January, my mom and I got into a “fight” of sorts. In my mind, it wasn’t actually a fight, but in her mind, I was attacking her. We were talking about my sister, and of course my mom was defending her and her actions and I had just had enough. I swear I think that my mom will defend my sister til her dying breath. Anyways, I said something my Mom didnt like, and she got mad at me. I said that I was “…tired of walking on eggshells and that every time I say something about Michele you get mad…” and my mom responded with “well than dont say anything!” Yeah, I was pissed and told her that it was time for her to move out. And before she let me finish my sentence, she stormed off to the bedroom saying she was fucking leaving. I didnt say anything else, I just grabbed my blanket and phone and locked myself in Paige’s bedroom. I could hear her banging around on the other end of my house, packing her suitcase and gathering her things. I could hear her taking things out to her car and putting them in her trunk. When she came back in, she knocked on the bedroom door and when I said “what?”, she told me that she was leaving and going back to her house. She told me that she loved me ad that she would never say anything negative about me to anyone…and then she left.
The next day she sent me this text....
“Lisa. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know if you realize that I have been depressed and very stressed about my situation and yours. I know I need a place of my own and you need your space. Maybe with me being here, something will come to a head, Michele and I can hopefully come to terms about the future one way or another. I will never say anything negative about you. There is nothing to say. You have been so good to me always, and I appreciate you more than you know. I'm so thankful you are my daughter. You took me in at a terrible time in my life and gave me love and stability. I don't know what my future holds or if I can even stand to live here or even if I'm welcome here. I'm so sad and ashamed of my behavior. I never intended to hurt you. I love you so much.”
==========
And I responded with this:
“I didn't say you had to leave today, I would never do that to you, or anyone. That is not who I am. You are welcome to come back, with the understanding that you'll be looking for a place of your own and figuring out what to do about Michele and the trailer that you own together. It's half your home and you have a right to live there; but you know, as do I and everyone else, you're not welcome with Michele. The 2 of you can not live together, so the responsible thing to do is to sell the trailer and you both move on with your individual lives. There is no reason to continue on this same path that leads you absolutely no where and brings depression, stress and anxiety to all involved, except Michele-the one who is causing all this stress and grief.
I love you mom and hate to see you continue to allow yourself to be abused by Michele, you deserve better...whether you believe it or not”
She called me the day after this text and asked if she was welcome to come back. I told her yes, but with the understanding that she HAD to look for a place and find one within 90 days. She agreed and came back that night. I was house sitting Saima’s house, so I wasn’t home when she got back.
We haven’t really talked about what happened, but she has been actively looking for a place of her own. She and my sister have NOT talked about the mobile home that they own jointly and I really doubt hat they will. My mom, for whatever her reasons are, doesn’t want to confront or push my sister. It infuriates me, but its not my fight. If my mom wants to just let my sister live there and call it a loss, its not my problem! So far she has 2 mobile homes that she is looking at buying. One will be available next month sometime and the other will be available in April. She has made calls to the capitol area on aging and they can offer no help at all. She also found out that she is 43rd on the waiting list for Government subsidized housing in The Ville. She’s off to a good start, I just hope for her sake it continues, because I am resolved to that 90 days!
I think thats about it! Saima is still recovering and seems to be doing better all the time. Her recovery is progressing at the speed that I thought it would, of curse its not fast enough for her. She’s got the rest of February and the first week of March; and then she can go back to work. Well, as long as she continues to do well. Sh is looking forward to that day!
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
I cant believe that January has come and gone…and February is already here! The days just go b way too fast!! I wish that time would just slow down, so we could al just catch our breath!
Paige is home!! I picked her up from the airport on Friday (01/27), she’d been gone for a month, visiting her GF and other friends in Wisconsin. Originally she was supposed to come home on the 17th, but she extended her vacation to include a concert, that they didnt end up going to due to a fight she ad her friend Spence had. It’s a long teenaged drama story, that I dont feel like writing about. So, needless to say, no concert but extended vacation time.
According to Paige, she had a really good time, despite the fight with Spence. She got to spend a lot of good quality time with Syd, her GF, and she met a few of Syd’s good friends and got to know them too. All in all, she said it was a great time!!
Once again, however, she brought home a souvenir that I dont want; COVID!! So far, shes the only one who has it and I really hope it stays that way!! Im fairly certain that she picked it up in the Chicago airport or on the plane. It seems to be a mild case and she isn’t even running a fever, she just has the cough, congestion, body aches and fatigue that go along with Covid. I had her take 2 tests, just to be sure. Both came up positive immediately!
The day after Paige got home, we went and rescued a hamster. He’s a young Syrian hammie that one of her friends had. he’s been living in a small 10 gallon tank with no wheel. The water bottle was sitting on the bedding and he was unable to drink water and she couldn’t afford to feed him. When we got him, he was skin and bones, but super sweet. We got him food, a new water bottle with feeding dish and a saucer wheel. We’ll be getting him a larger tank as soon as Paige is able to go out in public again. He LOVES his new wheel and runs like crazy on it. I’m just glad that we were able to rescue him and give him a good home.
On January 23, 2023 I had to have my Opal Fat Cat put down. She had started going down hill a couple weeks prior, and it got really bad over the weekend. I called the vet Monday morning and talked to her and she had me bring Opal in that afternoon. Once there, the vet could tell, just by looking at her, that something was very wrong. They took her back and did an X-ray and found that her heart was very enlarged and that she was retaining water badly in her legs and body. They came back and said that she was in heart failure and was suffering and that the humane thing to do was to put her down. I knew that she was sick, but had no idea it was that bad. I made the decision to have her put down.
They tried to find a vein in her leg to start the IV for the meds, but she was so swollen that they couldn’t get one. They had to give her a shot to make her sleepy, and then they gave her the euthanasia medication directly into her kidneys, which then pumped it into her body/heart. I got to hold her until she passed; it was very peaceful and I knew that she wasn’t in pain anymore. I cried so hard, as I rocked with her in my arms. She was my cat and I sure do miss her.
My son Dustin came over that night, after work, to bury her for me. I picked the spot between my deck/shed/house and I plan to plant a tree there this spring. It will be the perfect place for a shade tree ad I think that Opal would have liked to see the birds that will hang out in a tree.
So in my last entry, I believe that I wrote that my mom was still living here. Well, she left, for all of 2 days, and ended up coming back because she couldn’t stand being around my sister and her trailer no longer felt like home to her. Yeah,
I need to explain…
I dont recall the exact date, mid January, my mom and I got into a “fight” of sorts. In my mind, it wasn’t actually a fight, but in her mind, I was attacking her. We were talking about my sister, and of course my mom was defending her and her actions and I had just had enough. I swear I think that my mom will defend my sister til her dying breath. Anyways, I said something my Mom didnt like, and she got mad at me. I said that I was “…tired of walking on eggshells and that every time I say something about Michele you get mad…” and my mom responded with “well than dont say anything!” Yeah, I was pissed and told her that it was time for her to move out. And before she let me finish my sentence, she stormed off to the bedroom saying she was fucking leaving. I didnt say anything else, I just grabbed my blanket and phone and locked myself in Paige’s bedroom. I could hear her banging around on the other end of my house, packing her suitcase and gathering her things. I could hear her taking things out to her car and putting them in her trunk. When she came back in, she knocked on the bedroom door and when I said “what?”, she told me that she was leaving and going back to her house. She told me that she loved me ad that she would never say anything negative about me to anyone…and then she left.
The next day she sent me this text....
“Lisa. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't know if you realize that I have been depressed and very stressed about my situation and yours. I know I need a place of my own and you need your space. Maybe with me being here, something will come to a head, Michele and I can hopefully come to terms about the future one way or another. I will never say anything negative about you. There is nothing to say. You have been so good to me always, and I appreciate you more than you know. I'm so thankful you are my daughter. You took me in at a terrible time in my life and gave me love and stability. I don't know what my future holds or if I can even stand to live here or even if I'm welcome here. I'm so sad and ashamed of my behavior. I never intended to hurt you. I love you so much.”
==========
And I responded with this:
“I didn't say you had to leave today, I would never do that to you, or anyone. That is not who I am. You are welcome to come back, with the understanding that you'll be looking for a place of your own and figuring out what to do about Michele and the trailer that you own together. It's half your home and you have a right to live there; but you know, as do I and everyone else, you're not welcome with Michele. The 2 of you can not live together, so the responsible thing to do is to sell the trailer and you both move on with your individual lives. There is no reason to continue on this same path that leads you absolutely no where and brings depression, stress and anxiety to all involved, except Michele-the one who is causing all this stress and grief.
I love you mom and hate to see you continue to allow yourself to be abused by Michele, you deserve better...whether you believe it or not”
She called me the day after this text and asked if she was welcome to come back. I told her yes, but with the understanding that she HAD to look for a place and find one within 90 days. She agreed and came back that night. I was house sitting Saima’s house, so I wasn’t home when she got back.
We haven’t really talked about what happened, but she has been actively looking for a place of her own. She and my sister have NOT talked about the mobile home that they own jointly and I really doubt hat they will. My mom, for whatever her reasons are, doesn’t want to confront or push my sister. It infuriates me, but its not my fight. If my mom wants to just let my sister live there and call it a loss, its not my problem! So far she has 2 mobile homes that she is looking at buying. One will be available next month sometime and the other will be available in April. She has made calls to the capitol area on aging and they can offer no help at all. She also found out that she is 43rd on the waiting list for Government subsidized housing in The Ville. She’s off to a good start, I just hope for her sake it continues, because I am resolved to that 90 days!
I think thats about it! Saima is still recovering and seems to be doing better all the time. Her recovery is progressing at the speed that I thought it would, of curse its not fast enough for her. She’s got the rest of February and the first week of March; and then she can go back to work. Well, as long as she continues to do well. Sh is looking forward to that day!
This is Life…As My Thoughts Wander
Lisa M~
